Favorite Color
by Cadence of my dying Breath
Summary: How will Alec and Magnus manage their relationship as everything Alec thought would never happen begins to pass? As he watches his parents marriage disintegrate, will Alec be able to build relationships, or is he too far gone? More importantly, will he be able to let go when the time comes? Rated M for good reason. Please Enjoy! Final chapter is up! New and Improved Summary!
1. Favorite Color

Hey guys this is my first story Since like 2009. Hope you enjoy it. You should definitely go check out the song Favorite Color by One Less Reason. I love their Music.

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><p>Alec didn't know what to do. He couldn't find the right words to say to let Magnus know how he felt. He was in love with him, but he was too afraid to say so. It had led to another argument. Lately, that's all they'd been doing. He'd come over to his apartment whenever he could, just to be with Magnus, and all Magnus did was start another argument. Alec tried. He really did. He just couldn't find it in him to tell his family just yet.<p>

"Magnus, please. I want to tell them. I do. I just… Cant."

"That's bullshit, Alec. You're ashamed to be with me."

"No, I'm not. I'm afraid. I'm a coward. Hell, you can even call me an ass for dragging you along like this and making you wait. But I am not ashamed to be with you." Alec stepped toward Magnus and tried to draw him in, but Magnus pushed him away.

"Whatever Alec," He walked toward his door and opened it. "You should go. Call me when you grow some balls."

"Magnus…" he stopped in front of Magnus. "Don't do this."

"Alec. Go."

Alec didn't know what was wrong with Magnus. There was something he wasn't telling him and he couldn't figure it out. He didn't know how he would get through the days knowing Magnus was mad at him. How was he going to go to school and not talk to him? Magnus was the only other person Alec interacted with besides Jace and Isabelle and whoever they were dating at the moment.

They would know immediately something was wrong with Alec. They saw right through him. Isabelle knew where he went every night. She was the only other person who knew how Alec felt about Magnus. She was the only one who supported him. She was the one who introduced him to Magnus. She was the only one who understood.

She wasn't the reason Alec was afraid. Alec knew all too well how unsupportive their parents would be. His father was old fashioned, to say the least. His mother would try, but he knew that this would be a blow on her pride. She wanted the perfect family. Things weren't going accordingly. She saw Jace's tendency to bring home a new girl every week. She saw Isabelle's ability to be a bitch. Alec was her last resort to do it right. Max was too young for her to pin her hopes on.

He knew a lot of people would be disappointed when they found out how he felt about Magnus. He loved him. He needed him. And it just made him even angrier that he had gone and messed things up with him. It was his fault Magnus wasn't talking to him. His cowardliness had been his own downfall. He had to have everyone else's best interest in mind except his own.

When he woke up the next morning, Alec had no idea how he would face the day. He knew it would be hard seeing Magnus and not talking to him. It frustrated him. Why couldn't Magnus see? He wanted to give Magnus everything and he was trying, but Alec would have to take baby steps and Magnus couldn't seem to accept that.

Alec didn't realize he had reached his locker. He was still brooding over his argument with Magnus. He gathered his books and went to class. He always tried to make it there early so that he could have his choice of seats. He always sat in the same place anyways, by the windows. He liked it best there. He always finished his work early and liked looking out the window: thinking. The sad thing was Magnus was all he ever thought about.

He decided not to sit there today. He would not leave his mind open to wonder. He was not going to think about him. He was tired; maybe he could sleep after he finished his work. But Alec knew that wouldn't work. The reason he was tired in the first place was because all he dreamed about was Magnus. He felt his chest tighten. Magnus was Alec's everything and he had screwed it up. Nice going, he thought to himself. He'd fucked up big time this time.

He heard the bell ring signaling the five minute warning. He quickly found a seat before the students started streaming in. He was lucky enough to not have this class with Magnus. Maybe he could just avoid the inevitable and keep his distance. He listened when the teacher explained the formula. He did the practice problems. He even did the homework, but he still had time afterwards.

With every thought he let come to his mind, his heart crumpled a little more. This was the curse of having too much time to think about it. He was dreading the bell. His next class was English four with Magnus. How would he handle it?

Alec never got to figure it out. The bell rang too soon. He gathered his things slowly and walked out of class. He intended on using the entire five minutes to get from this class to the next. It was English, so he had no reason to get there early. He hated the class. He didn't understand why he had to take the class. He was fluent in the language.

Some things invariably pass. He was halfway into the class when things started. Rodney was a class act. He didn't take anything serious except himself. He was the most popular guy in St. Xavier's. He was the quarter back on the football team and he was dating Aline, Head captain of Cheerleading. He was an ass, to put it bluntly. Alec didn't like him, though, for another reason. Rodney had a tendency to make fun of gays. The only openly gay person at the school was Magnus, though Alec knew a bunch of others.

Rodney was being his usual annoying self. He interrupted the teacher whenever she talked. They were discussing The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Alec felt his stomach do flip-flops when he saw Magnus raise his hand. "Not now," Alec thought.

"When I read this part, I just wanted to shoot Assef and beat Amir with his body. Assef is sick. And Amir's a coward. He couldn't even stand up for his best friend. His best friend would do anything for him." At first there was silence. Then Rodney had to put his two cents in.

"You mean you don't like that kind of thing? You know you being a fag, and all?"

Alec could have puked. He watched as the students went OOOH. Alec hoped Magnus wouldn't say anything, but he hoped in vain.

"Why would I like something like that? Anyone who likes the idea of kids being raped is sick."

"Well you are sick. You like dudes. Who fucked your brain up?" Again the class went OOOH.

Alec couldn't take it anymore. He saw that the teacher had no control over the class whatsoever. He couldn't believe how anyone could be so openly anti-homo. "Lay off of him, Rod."

Again everyone was silent. No one stood up to Rodney. But Alec had a suspicion that the class was glad someone said something. "Oh, he speaks. What's up Alexander? Why you sticking up for him? Is he your boyfriend or something?"

"And if he is?" Alec felt a pang. He wasn't so sure if Magnus was his boyfriend or not.

For a second Rodney was struck dumb. "Then you're a little bitch, too."

"Oh please, Rodney. I can kick your ass on the field and off. You're the flipping quarter back. You step on the soccer field and come at me. You think you're the stuff? Tell me how Aline's slept with everyone except you." Alec, Jace, and Isabelle were the only ones who knew that Rodney was Aline's second choice. She'd originally wanted to date Jace. "And you think that makes you any more of a man than I am: than he is?" Alec gestured toward Magnus. "How about you cut the 'I'm a big boy' crap, and shut up for a change? Your voice is annoying." The class went OOOH again, and Alec knew he would never live this down. For a second he saw red. He hadn't intended on telling his class he was gay. He wanted to take back everything he had said, but it was out now. He knew Rodney would want to take him up on his offer. There was going to be a fight. Alec didn't know when, but he knew it was bound to happen.

Alec got up and walked out of Class. The bell was about to ring anyway. The Teacher had lost all hope of controlling her class. She never even sent a student to detention. She was more afraid the students wouldn't like her than she was of them getting out of control. She was a push over. Alec stood outside his next class just as the bell rang. He watched as the students came out. He watched as Magnus made his way to where he was standing. He just stood there. Magnus told him not to talk to him in as many words. So he just stood there looking into Magnus' cat-like eyes. Magnus was the first one to turn away. He gave Alec all the space he needed to look at his watch and see that it was almost time for class. Alec walked into the classroom and Magnus followed. They still hadn't spoken a word to each other. They both saw how significant what Alec just said was.

Alec sat by the window. He didn't look up when Magnus sat beside him. He couldn't swallow what had just happened. The words were there but they were stuck in his throat. He couldn't find it in him to speak to Magnus. He was embarrassed. Coming out had changed nothing. Magnus didn't deserve him. The only reason people knew was because he had flipped the script and yelled it at some jerk that shouldn't be given the time of the day. Alec was the same coward he woke up as.

The class passed. He was hardly paying attention. He tried taking notes, but his mind always wandered. After forty-five minutes he gave up. He knew that by the time Lunch ended, the entire School would know. He was dreading it. He thought maybe he would hide out in the library. He knew he wouldn't, though. He had provoked Rodney, and knew that if he wasn't in sight, Magnus would have to do. He couldn't risk Magnus being hurt anymore. Magnus meant more to him than he thought. Magnus would never be hurt if it was up to Alec. Magnus would always be smiling.

Alec used to wonder if he would always feel this way, but now he knew. He would always want Magnus to be happy. He felt lighter knowing that the entire school knew his secret. It didn't make things any harder for him. He should let it flow, but it felt as if he was taking the easy way. Maybe he would feel better once he actually fought Rodney. The bell rang and he knew his time was up. No more hiding.

Alec packed away his books and stopped at his locker to drop it all off. He felt everyone staring. He knew Magnus was following him. He didn't know why. He walked into the cafeteria. He got his lunch. He sat at his normal table. He did what was normal to him. Magnus was still there. He sat at their table, too, so this was also normal. He looked up from his lunch and saw that his normal crew was staring at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Dude, you stood up to Rod. You should've waited for me. I would've loved to see his face." Jace was always easy-going.

"It wasn't that special Jace. He looked like the ass-hat that he is." Clary was in the class with them. Of course she had told them. She could keep a secret, but she didn't think this would count as a secret. The rest of the school knew. Alec continued to eat. He knew sooner or later someone would address the issue that was his coming out.

"So how long have you and Magnus been together?" Alec stopped eating. Simon, of course, was not one to beat around the bush. He saw where that got him with Clary and decided it wouldn't happen again. He was to the point now. Maybe that's what Isabelle saw in him. Maybe that's what Maia had wanted in him. Alec looked at him and then he looked at Magnus who was still sitting beside him. And then he shrugged. If they were together again, he wanted to hear it from Magnus. He knew he was being difficult, but if he was going to put his all into Magnus, he wanted to see if Magnus would do the same.

"Three Months," Magnus spoke for the first time since English Class. Alec nodded. Magnus speaking still meant nothing. It wasn't enough, not to Alec.

"I'm bored with this conversation. I'll see you guys after school." Alec was feeling bolder today than he had in his entire life. He was about to pick up his tray when he heard Rodney behind him. He turned slowly.

"Well, look what we have here. Still with Marvelous Maggie over there? Still pretending to be Gay, Alec?"

"You sound jealous." Rodney's taunts were weak. Alec, on the other hand, had no idea where his wit was coming from. He was on edge, waiting. He wanted so badly for Rodney to swing. He needed to blow off some steam.

"You're a bitch, Lightwood."

"Why don't you tell it to someone who gives a damn?"

"I'll beat the gay out of you." He was closer to Alec now.

"Come at me." Alec could have spat on his face. He wasn't the least bit surprised at how Rodney had trapped himself. He knew very well how little Rodney wanted to fight him. Alec was probably the only one who knew that Rodney was gay. He wasn't surprised to see how afraid Rodney was.

Rodney pushed Alec. If Alec was anyone else, he probably would have fallen, but Alec had a natural agility that ran in his family. Jace and Isabelle were fast. They were fighters. But Alec was a better fighter. No one knew this because Alec never fought. Ever.

Alec pushed him back. He would not throw the first punch. He would not show how angry he truly was. Rodney tried to punch him in the jaw, but Alec blocked it and retaliated with a swift uppercut. He did not hit Rodney as hard as he could have. He knew Rodney didn't mean it. It didn't change things. It didn't make it all better. It made Rodney bearable. He was human. Humans made mistakes.

He vowed to himself not to hit Rodney any harder than Rodney hit him. He just tired him out. He blocked every blow he could. And every time a punch made it through his defense, he hit back just as hard. Finally Rodney had had enough. His shots became sloppy and panicked. He was panting. Alec pushed Rodney away from him barely winded. Rodney tried to come back for more but he tripped. Alec caught him and sat him at the table nearest to them.

"Dude its over."

"No, it's not over. Not until I win."

"Rodney what are you talking about? You didn't lose. Let it go. I know you're sorry." Alec was aware of the fact that no one in the cafeteria knew what he was talking about. He intended on keeping it that way. "Jace, help me take him to the nurse's office before class starts."

Jace was never one to question Alec's motives. He got up and lifted Rodney to his feet. He put one arm over his shoulder and Alec did the same. He knew it would be embarrassing to Rodney, but Alec thought he deserved it. He felt sorry for Rodney, but he needed to be taught. He couldn't go around hating everything that he was. He would only end up embarrassed.

He remembered the day he saw Rodney at the park. It was one of the places where he'd rendezvous with Magnus. He saw Rodney with one of the other closet gays at school. He wasn't the least bit surprised. Rodney tried to intimidate Alec when he realized who it was. He didn't know that Alec was there for Magnus. Magnus hadn't arrived yet. Alec promised he wouldn't tell anyone until Rodney was ready. How could he? He was living the same life Rodney was living. He had no room to judge.

After leaving Rodney at the Nurse's office, Alec went to his next class. It seemed the bells rung when he needed them to. He was surprised at how long this day was. He was surprised at how many teachers saw what was going on and said nothing. He had been in a fight and no teacher, principal, or dean thought anything about it. Why would anyone turn a blind eye to this?

Alec was tired. He had no idea whether he was with Magnus or not. But since the entire school knows, he would make it official by telling his parents and if they couldn't deal, he would be just fine. He was eighteen; he had a job, and was saving up. He could buy his own apartment if it came to that. He hoped it wouldn't come to that, but he was willing.

The final bell rung and he let out a sigh. He went to his locker and got all the books he would need over the weekend. He thought about walking home. He needed some time to think. He was going to tell his parents. He would not back down. He just needed to figure out how.

When he found Jace and Isabelle, he told them he had a ride. They didn't believe him for a second, but what could they do? He waited until they drove off before he began walking. They had to go to the elementary school first so he would be lucky to get home before them. He lived relatively near the school so he paced himself.

He was surprised when he saw that he had actually passed his house and turned back around. He walked back to his house and looked at it. It was an old Victorian piece with stone walls and white pillars. It had been in their family for six generations. He couldn't help but feel a pang. Who would the house go to once his parents died? Maybe Max would pull through because what Alec was about to tell his parents was going to be just another letdown. He had to do it though. He knew people would be disappointed when they found out that he was gay, but this was him and he couldn't change it. Until his heart stopped beating, he would always be this way.

He walked into the kitchen and sat his stuff down. He took a deep breath and then another. "Mom, Dad, can you come down here?" He called up to them. They were most likely in the library. Alec took two more deep breaths when he heard them coming down the steps.

His father must of noticed his unease because he asked, "What's the matter, son?"

"Um, today I got into a fight. That's not what I wanted to tell you though. I got into a fight because I'm gay and the guy who fought me is gay except he has a cover girl because he's afraid of what the world would think. I guess I can't judge because I was afraid of what you guys would think. That's why it's taken so long for me to tell you guys. I've had a boyfriend for the past three months except I don't think I do anymore because I waited too long to tell you guys and I was afraid of what my peers would think. He thought I was ashamed of him. But I wasn't. I'm not. That's why I'm telling you except I think I'm already too late. And I'm rambling but if I don't get it out, I won't. Mom, dad, I'm Gay." Alec let out another sigh. He had said it. There was no going back.

He gauged his parent's reaction. They were both able to hide their emotions when they wanted to. They weren't stiff with tension. They seemed more relaxed. "Why would you be afraid to tell us?" His mother almost sounded hurt. When Alec thought about it, his reasoning seemed insignificant. He shrugged and looked down. He was embarrassed. How could he think his parents wouldn't accept him? What type of son was he? He felt bad for not having faith in them.

"I thought it was time I told you." He looked at his parents. He felt lighter. Everyone knew. He no longer had to hide. He picked up his book bag and went to his room. He decided to do his homework. He had two days to figure out his situation with Magnus.

It still hurt to think about him so he tried not to. He did whatever he could. He finished all his homework within an hour. He read the rest of The Kite Runner. He liked it. But he couldn't process what he read. He was just reading it to keep his mind off other problems. He even talked to Isabelle about how Simon had made her angry for the thousandth time. He would have loved to continue talking to her, but his phone started ringing. It was Magnus. Alec left Izzy's room. He took a breath before he answered. "Hello."

"Alec, I need to talk to you." Alec's heart caught when Magnus said his name.

"Okay. Do you want me to come over?" He didn't know what was wrong, but he felt it.

"No, I'm on my way." Alec didn't know what it was, but Magnus didn't sound right. Something was up. He waited on his front porch. His parents had gone out and probably wouldn't be back until late. He saw Magnus pull into his driveway. He had a frown on his face. Something was up. Alec stood and stepped onto the side walk in front of Magnus.

"Hey, what's up?"

"You might wanna, um, sit down." Alec frowned.

"Okay, but just tell me already. You're scaring me." Magnus stood on the sidewalk in front of Alec who was sitting on the steps in front of his house. He looked Alec in his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I sort of kind of kissed another guy… But it meant absolutely nothing to me. And the only reason I did it was to clear my mind of you. And it didn't work because I'm crazy about you. And I can't forget you. But I understand if you don't want me back. I don't deserve you." Alec just stared at Magnus.

"When?" He whispered. Suddenly, Alec had no more room to breathe. He needed space. He needed time to process things again.

"Three weeks ago," Magnus said. Alec couldn't believe it. Here he was making all these sacrifices for Magnus and Magnus hadn't even stayed true. When he did the calculations in his head, he realized that that was when the arguments had started.

"So when you would start an argument…"

"I just needed a reason to be mad at you for being so good. I didn't think you would follow through. I never thought I would say this to you. Please don't leave me. I need you."

"No, you don't need me. You know, I told my parents I was gay? That was a big step for me, Magnus, but I did it for you and you couldn't wait for me. You don't need me because you tried to push me into something I wasn't ready for. What else are you going to try and push me into? You don't need me. I fought for you, but you were off locking lips with someone else. I was afraid a lot of people would be disappointed in my choice to stick with you. I thought my parents would disown me when they found out I loved you and I needed you. I used to wonder if I would always want to be with you and I thought I would. _Always, _Magnus, but you had already given up on me."

"Alec, that's not fair."

"Not fair to you or not fair to me?" Alec knew the answer to his question and Magnus did, too. But no matter how mad Alec was at that moment, it did not change how he would always feel.

"This isn't fair to me, Magnus. I should be ripping out your glitter-covered spikes and yelling at you, but all I can think is that I still love you. And it's my fault you moved on because I was dragging you along like a lost puppy. So I understand how you thought I had forgotten about you. Now it's your turn to forget about me." Alec got up and walked toward his door, but Magnus grabbed his wrist and turned him around back facing Magnus.

"But I can't forget you. I don't want to. I want to start all over with you. No more secrets."

"Who? Who was he?" Alec had been fighting within himself, but he had to know.

"Rodney." Alec had a feeling that's who it was.

"How did I know? You know he's more closeted than I was, right?"

"Not to mention annoying." Magnus smiled. Alec went inside holding the door open for Magnus to follow him.

"Are you coming or not?" He asked. Magnus hesitated. "My parents already know. Besides they're not home." He smiled trying to make Magnus feel a little at ease. "Magnus, get in here." He smiled when Magnus finally overcame his internal monologues. He followed Alec into the kitchen. Alec took two glasses and filled them with Ice water. He was buying time. He wanted something, but he didn't know how to ask. He drank all of his water and watched as Magnus nonchalantly sipped his. He put down his glass and waited for Magnus to finish. He watched as Magnus took his time. Finally, he sat down his glass and looked at Alec. He raised his eyebrows. Before Magnus could ask Alec what he was looking at, Alec kissed him. He backed him into the kitchen sink, and kissed him harder. Alec would have been content to stay like that, but Isabelle walked in and squealed like the girl that she was.

"You two should get a room."

Alec turned and smirked at her. "Good idea, Izzy." He grabbed Magnus' hand and led him upstairs. All the while Izzy was screaming that she liked the idea of them making out in the kitchen. At least someone could keep an eye on them. But Alec just smiled. He had no intention of going too fast with Magnus. He would take things slow, and Magnus would let him.

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><p>So What did you think. My FF is mostly Emotional and character-traits, not necessarily action based.<p>

I'm thinking of extending this Fanfic but using different Characters. What do you think?


	2. Everything You Want

**Here's Chapter Two. Sorry For the Wait. **

**PS. I forgot this Last Chapter, But I don't own the Mortal Instruments or the music that I Base these chappies off of.**

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><p>The one thing Rodney couldn't get through his head was that he had lost. Magnus was not his. No matter how many nights he dreamed about Magnus' kiss, he couldn't get it through his head that Magnus felt nothing. Rodney felt everything. To make it worse, he'd fucked up. Big time. He fought Alec. He was such a hypocrite. He fought a gay person for being gay when he was gay. He deserved to be owned like he was.<p>

So here he was at lunch alone. He was happy to see that Alec had been nice to him. He hadn't bruised his face. He hadn't bruised him at all. So everyone that saw the fight would at least think it was a tie. Except for the fact that Rodney was pretty sure it was blatantly obvious who won the fight. He was the one who had to be carried to the nurse's office: by his offender, no less. He was pathetic. He couldn't hold a girl even if he was the most popular guy in school. You should probably take note of the fact that he _was_ the most popular guy. Rodney wasn't sure if he was or not. He was sitting there alone, while every other person had someone to talk to, he had none.

Rodney was sickened by his situation. He fell so far. He was such an idiot in so many ways that he'd lost count. But he was determined that he would not be showed up like that. He was determined not to be turned down so harshly. He still remembered the way Magnus's lips fitted over him. He thought it was magical, as much as it pained to think about, and he wanted the feeling back. Sure he remembered every embrace, but memories could never compare to the real thing. He wanted Magnus and he wanted him badly. It hurt to see Magnus with Alec. Not only could Alec hold his own in a fight, he could hold his own in love. He saw the way that Magnus looked at Alec and was determined to make Magnus look at him in the same Manner. All he had to do was get Magnus alone and give him a taste of what he was missing while his life pinned away with Alec. The only problem was that Magnus was never alone. Alec was always there.

Even when he went to the bathroom, Alec was there. They used their transitions between classes wisely. They went to the bathroom during every break. Rodney had a suspicion that most of the time they were fooling around and not actually using the bathroom and he was jealous. He should be the one that was fooling around with Magnus in a bathroom. Magnus was rightfully his when he kissed him three weeks ago. Why couldn't Magnus see what the kiss had done to him? Of course Magnus felt what he felt. How could he not. No one was that good at kissing. No one. And Rodney could not get the words out of his mind. He remembered every word Magnus had said to him no matter how badly they stung. He was determined to change it. He remembered the pained look in his eyes.

They had decided to meet at the park. Magnus had known for a while how much Rodney wanted to date him. He'd finally given in. He was hurt. He felt that Alec was only using him as an escape. Alec didn't want anything serious. And Magnus was not about to sit around and be used. He decided he was going to get over Alec. And this was how.

Rodney, at the time, didn't know he was being used. He just thought he was finally getting a chance at what he'd longed for for so long. He was going to _be _with Magnus Bane. He had come to the park as Magnus said to meet him at so they could go to his apartment together. He knew this park well. It was where he had met Chase on certain occasions, but he was confident that no one could compare to the great Magnus Bane. Rodney didn't know how wrong he was. Magnus was not the one for him, but he wanted Magnus so badly that he overlooked all the rest.

Magnus had been straight forward from the beginning. He had told Rodney that what they were about to do was a One Night thing. Rodney was sure he would be able to convince him otherwise. Magnus had said, before they had gotten anywhere, that Rodney shouldn't expect him to call. And then he kissed him and Rodney knew he wouldn't be able to resist. Surely Magnus felt what he felt. The tingly sensation in his fingertips as he hands roamed into Magnus's spikes, the heat in his face and chest and other areas when they kissed, could Magnus not feel them it all? It was unfathomable to Rodney why Magnus had stopped him short.

"I can't do this," Magnus had said. His breath was shallow so at least Rodney knew Magnus felt something. But it didn't feel the same. When Rodney thought Magnus was egging him on, Magnus was actually hoping he'd stop. When they kissed it felt like Magic to Rodney, but all Magnus could do was compare his lips to Alec's. They were no comparison. Alec was better. No matter how many times Magnus had scolded himself about thinking about Alec, he couldn't help but feel like a total ass. Somewhere deep down, Magnus knew Alec wasn't just using him. It was easier to think so, but he knew it wasn't true. He knew Alec didn't deserve this. He felt ashamed. That's why Magnus couldn't do _this_ with Rodney. He wanted to wait for Alec. Even if it wouldn't be his first time, he knew it would mean a lot to Alec. Hell, it meant a lot to him.

So when Magnus got up and walked out of Rodney's apartment, Rodney didn't know what to do. He was so close to conquering what he had longed for for so long. And just like that he was gone. He missed the way Magnus made him feel. He would have come out for Magnus, but things didn't go as he planned. Magnus didn't call like he had said he wouldn't. Magnus had ignored all of Rodney's attempts at trying to make a connection. After two and a half weeks, Magnus had finally told Rodney why he wasn't interested. Rodney was pissed. Magnus had used him. Magnus didn't want anything but a fling to get his mind off some other guy. Rodney had planned revenge on Magnus, but he didn't have to do anything. Alec came at him.

Rodney knew damn well how much he didn't want to fight, but because he was such an asshat, he couldn't back out of it. He had a reputation to fill. He hadn't expected Alec to know how to fight so well. For one, he was gay, but that meant nothing because Rodney was also gay and he thought he could hold his own. For two, Alec was on the soccer team. They were all legs. They didn't need arm muscles like football players did. That didn't stop Alec from kicking his ass though.

It had been a long month for Rodney, but he was determined to end it with a bang. A sparkly, glitter-y bang. He was going to have Magnus Bane, even if he had to mess up his relationship with Alec. It had been a week since the fight. He was going to redeem himself, even if no one gave him the time of the day anymore. He was going to win at something.

One day Alec hadn't shown up for school. He'd heard from Isabelle that Alec had to take their younger brother to a doctor's appointment and would be back later. He jumped at the opportunity. That's all the time he needed to get Magnus alone. Rodney would show him just how good he was for Magnus.

Magnus never saw it coming. He was headed to his locker before lunch to drop off his things. He always did it when Alec was there, so he could have a few minutes alone. When he saw how boring his day was without Alec, he knew he couldn't screw this relationship up. Everything would be nothing without Alec. Magnus was innocent. He had no idea what was running through the mind of Rodney. He didn't know until he realized he was the only one in the hallway with Rodney.

"Hey, Magnus," he said. He tried his best to look seductive. He didn't know how unattractive he was to Magnus. No one would ever compare to Alec in his mind.

"Hey, Rodney" he said, trying to push past him and go to the cafeteria.

"Where are you going? Your boyfriend's not here, you don't have to pretend." He held Magnus' wrist, holding him back from leaving.

"Rodney, go away." He yanked his hand out of Rodney's grasp, but Rodney grabbed his other hand. "Let go of me."

Rodney only pulled harder until he and Magnus were millimeters apart. Rodney and Magnus saw eye to eye. Literally, not figuratively. Magnus was used to being in control. That's why he and Rodney could never be. Two arrogant people could never get along. That's why he and Alec made such a good couple. Opposites attract. But Magnus couldn't think straight. He was angry. He wanted to be anywhere but where he was at that moment. But, he also wanted to show Rodney how bad they were for each other so he could stop pursuing him. He pulled back a step.

"Rodney, you and I could never work. I like being in control and you like being in control. We can't both be in control. Someone's gotta give and it won't be me."

Rodney processed what he said. He had a new glint in his eyes like he just had the biggest epiphany. Magnus didn't know what Rodney was thinking, but he didn't like it. "Fine, I'll give. But you gotta make it worth it. So kiss me." He looked like he was waiting. What did he expect from Magnus? He wasn't one to be so damn unfaithful.

"Rodney, I'm not gonna kiss you, and you're not gonna be submissive. That's not who you are."

"So you're blue eyed beau is submissive and that's why you stick with him? Because he'll do whatever you ask?" Rodney was goading him but Magnus didn't know why. If only Magnus knew. If only.

"No. I'm with Alec because I love him, not because he does what I say. That's not who I am and that's not who he is. Now let me go."

"Not until you kiss me." This time he said it a little louder. Magnus didn't know why. IF only he had turned around he would've saw why. He would've thought things through. He wouldn't have been so stupid.

"No I'm not going to kiss you. You want a kiss so bad you find someone who's available."

"I want you." Rodney stepped closer. His lips brushed against Magnus'. This time Magnus didn't fight it. He would do almost anything to get Rodney off his back. Magnus thought it was just a peck, but Rodney started to deepen the kiss and he couldn't hold back. Magnus pushed Rodney away.

"Enough. You got what you wanted now go."

"Magnus, you have no idea how right you are." Rodney gestured to something behind Magnus, and then walked away. Magnus' breath hitched. Now he knew what Rodney was doing. He was framing him to look like a cheat.

Magnus turned around and saw Alec. He looked like he was about to cry. Alec never cried. Ever. "Magnus?" he whispered, his voice trembled. He shook his head. "Great. You're just another thing for me to deal with." He walked passed them and went into the cafeteria. Magnus stared after him. _Just another thing. _What did he mean by that? Magnus had screwed up again. _Again_. But there was something else. Something the doctor had said. Something that Alec couldn't deal with alone. Great. When Alec needed him the most, he'd screwed up. Magnus leaned against the lockers behind him. He was a terrible boyfriend.

He looked up to see Alec walking back toward the double doors. This time Isabelle and Jace were with him. Whatever it was that had happened, it was important. He watched as Alec walked to his locker right next to where Magnus was standing, and got his books out. Alec didn't look up and say anything. After he got his books, he turned away.

"Alec, let me explain."

"Save it." Alec snapped back. "Tell it to someone who gives a damn. Tell it to friggin' Rodney. I'm done listening."

Alec never talked to Magnus like that. He never talked to anyone liked that. But what could Magnus expect. Twice he was put in a compromising situation with Rodney. No wonder Alec didn't want to talk to him. He watched as Alec walked away. No doubt, Isabelle and Jace would find out. Magnus knew that winning over Alec after this atrocity, was going to be impossible. But he would try.

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><p><strong>I know it's Short, but I have another Chapter uploaded after this. <strong>

**Enjoy. **

**:)**

**~Cadence. **


	3. Heart Don't Fail Me Now

**Don't Hate me. Please don't. But here you go... I'm sorry. **

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><p>Max was sick. Not cough-cough, be-better-next-week sick, but if-we-don't-figure-out-something-quick-he'll-die sick. To make it worse, Alec was the one to find out. His parents were always gone. <em>Always<em>. It wasn't strange for Alec to take Max to a doctor's appointment. He had been doing so since he was sixteen and could drive. Poor Max was barely out of his toddler stage, but it was understood.

Alec never really minded. All he ever wanted was to be there for his family when they needed him. And he was. _Always_. Without fail, Alec was there. But he could not handle this. He had already had a bad feeling in his gut. It had been a while since either of the lightwoods had actually had a checkup. They didn't tend to like regular hospitals. They went to simple witchdoctors that their family had known for generations. But somewhere along the line they had lost contact and started going to mundane hospitals and doctor's offices.

Alec was panicking. He knew max was sick because he hadn't been eating a lot lately, but he didn't know how sick Max was. Until today. The doctor looked grave when he walked back in with the test results. Just by his demeanor, Alec knew how serious it was. He hoped and prayed to every angel in the sky that it was curable. What would he do if Max died? He couldn't handle that and still be there to comfort his family. He would be the one who took it the hardest because no matter how hard he tried, Alec could not stop what was inevitable. Death.

But this was too soon.

The doctor said that Max's Immune system wasn't working correctly and that he had a low white blood cell count. In other words, Max was dying from a cold. His body couldn't fight off the sickness because his white blood cells ceased to exist. The white-blood cells were the ones that fought infection. Without the white-blood cells, the red-blood cells just spreading the infection and the cold into the entire body. They spread around all the bad stuff that was supposed to be killed off by the white-blood cells.

The only way to cure Max was a simple blood transfusion. The only problem was finding a match. The closest people to Max, genetically, were his parents. But his parents were halfway across the world and Alec knew that his parents, though they cared for their kids, would not be able to make it in time. They were always busy. Somewhere, deep inside, Alec blamed them. They were never home to enforce simple things like going to the doctor. What could Alec do? He looked nothing like Max. It was weird. Max was the only family member to resemble their father. He and Isabelle both looked like their mother. And Jace was an adopted child. There was almost no chance he would be a match.

Alec was at his wit's end. Everything had been going so well in his life, and now it seemed his walls were crumbling. His brother was sick. Really sick. Alec gave a small blood sample so that the doctors could see if Alec was a possible match, though the chances of that were slim. Alec took Max home. He made sure he was asleep before he left, but he had already told Max that he was going to get Jace and Izzy. He would take them to the doctor's office and get Izzy tested. He would probably take Magnus, too. He needed all the comfort he could get.

Alec drove to the school in silence. He was thinking. He seemed to always be thinking. He had already called his parents to let them know what was going on and that they needed to come home. He wasn't surprised that he had to leave a message. He always had to. They were probably asleep. The time zones were different here than they were in Idris. Come to think of it, Idris wasn't even on the map, that's how small a town it was. It's like whenever he needed his parents to be home, they had disappeared off the face of the earth.

He parked his car, still thinking. He walked into the building looking at his watch. It was lunch time: Perfect. He hadn't looked up until he was almost to his locker. When he turned the corner, he saw something that he would always wish he hadn't. There was Magnus standing very close to Rodney. They were talking when he walked up, but something told Alec not to interrupt. His eyes met Rodney's, and there was a mischievous glint in his eyes as if he were trying to tell Alec he won. He watched as Magnus said something and Rodney stepped closer. So close that their lips nearly touched. Alec knew what was coming. Rodney closed his eyes and leaned in and kissed Magnus. Alec was sure Magnus would push him away, but he didn't. Not until Rodney started to deepen the kiss did Magnus pushed him away. . He saw Rodney whisper something and gesture to him. Ha. Magnus didn't even know he was being watched. Maybe if he did, he would have reacted differently. Alec couldn't find it in him to care.

"Magnus?" Alec had nearly stopped breathing.

Well, Alec thought, that was that. And he would have to deal. He was done. No more. He did not need this right now. He mumbled under his breath. "Great. You're just another thing for me to deal with." He didn't know whether Magnus heard him or not, but, for some reason, he hoped he had. He walked into the cafeteria and straight to their normal table. He spoke to everyone. Then he looked at Jace and Izzy, and it was like they knew. They could easily read each other. They had to. You'd be surprised how often they needed to communicate without talking.

They all stood up and left. They each said goodbye to their friends and walked away. Not one could see how tense they were. But to each other, it was obvious. They walked to their lockers and got their stuff. Alec knew Magnus was watching him. Why couldn't he be a man? Why couldn't he just fight for Alec with his bare hands instead of taking the easy way out? Twice he had run to Rodney when Alec wasn't there. Here Alec was, his life falling apart before his eyes, and his damn boyfriend couldn't even be there for him. Was he the luckiest guy in the world or what?

After he got his books he turned away.

"Alec, let me explain."

"Save it." Alec snapped back. "Tell it to someone who gives a damn. Tell it to friggin' Rodney. I'm done listening."

For a second, Alec felt bad. Then he remembered how he didn't deserve any of this, and he continued to walk away. He was a neurotic mess and Magnus was just another impediment that he would have to overcome in the near future. He gave Izzy and Jace a look, and Izzy came and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. Damn, if she knew. He wasn't gonna tell anybody. He was gonna let it pass. He would let go of every memory he had with Magnus with every tear he would cry later on that night. He was better off alone.

They drove in silence. The only time they actually looked like they were alive was when they picked up Max. He didn't look any better and probably didn't feel any better either, but that didn't stop Max from pretending. He took after his siblings well. Each of them actually thought they could hide their feelings from each other but they never could. Alec didn't doubt that Max felt the tension in the car. How could he not? Every smile was forced, along with every laugh. Max didn't know to what extent how sick he was, but he knew it was bad. Alec never drove that fast, or that crazily. It seemed no one really noticed, though. Or everyone understood why. Alec was on the brink of something.

Luckily they had made it to the hospital in one piece. Izzy and Alec left Max and Jace in the waiting room. As they made their way to the lab, Alec tried to explain what exactly was wrong with Max. He had Jace on the phone so that he could hear, too. They all agreed there was no reason to frighten Max any more than they needed to. They made it to the lab, only to find the doctor waiting for them.

"There's no need to test Isabelle," He said as sternly as possible. "Alec is a perfect Match. It's weird actually. Alec and Max show no outward similarities, but their DNA is almost the same. One of the only differences being simply your eye color. You even have the same blood type: AB negative. That's the rarest blood type. Max Lightwood is a lucky kid, having you as a big brother." The doctor smiled at them as if trying to loosen their tension.

"We can prep you for surgery now. There's no need to procrastinate. The sooner this is done the better."

Alec phoned Jace and told him the news. He said to bring Max to the third floor where most surgeries were performed. They would meet them by the elevators. When they got there, Alec tried his hardest to explain to Max what was going on. Max was almost ten. He almost felt insulted in the way that Alec talked to him, but he realized how bad it must be for Alec. He became a parent at the age of fourteen when his parents trusted him to cook. Then, after that, they were always gone. Then Max was so young that he went everywhere with them. But when he got older, he, too, was left behind. Alec had been so strong for so long. It was amazing that he hadn't cracked yet.

Before Alec and Max went under, they were asked when the last time either of them had eaten. It was a good thing Alec couldn't eat when he was stressed and Max couldn't eat when he was sick. It had been way longer than the required twelve hours.

Before going under, Alec looked at Max and whispered his good luck. Max did the same. From outside the window, Alec could see a worried Isabelle and an indifferent Jace. The last thing he thought before he passed out was that he wasn't surprised at their reactions. He knew them well. He hoped that he would know them for a long time.

When he woke up, he had not known how long he had been asleep. Max was not in the bed beside him because there was no bed. Immediately, Alec shot up—panicked. Where was Max? Had the surgery not gone as planned? Did Max die? The answer was no, but Alec didn't know that. What he did know was that he had startled three people into consciousness. He hadn't realized that anyone was in there with him, and these three people were not his siblings, therefore he did not want anything to do with them.

The first to recover was his mother. "Oh, Angel. Alec, I thought I had lost you." She got up from her chair and went to kiss Alec on his forehead, but Alec pulled away. He was not in the mood. After that, things got awkward.

His father decided to come from a different approach. "So, is this your boyfriend?" He tried to smile reassuringly. "He refused to leave with your other visitors. He put up a bigger fight than Maxwell did."

Alec was relieved to hear that Max was okay. He flinched when his father called Max by his real name, though. Everyone knew how much Max hated being called that. Even his teachers at school never called him that. But what really had Alec boiling at the moment was how Magnus was trying to hold his hand. Finally he just jerked his hand away. "No. He's not my boyfriend." Alec almost yelled.

"Alec, let me explain."

"No, you get the hell outta here. I don't wanna see you. Ever." Magnus knew what Alec said was final. His voice was stern even though Alec had just slept for three days. His voice was not hoarse. Alec was not taking any bullshit.

Magnus stood and walked out. What else could he have done? The last thing he needed on his mind was the thought that Alec had had a heart attack because he had made him angry. Maybe it was irrational, but Magnus didn't wanna be _just another reason. _He left.

After that, Alec's parents were silent. He was hoping one of them would say something so that he could flip the script again. He was seething, but he knew that they didn't know that.

"Oh, I'm sorry Honey. Are you and you're boyfriend having a fight?" She was trying to sound like the mother she would never be.

"Oh, please _mom_. It's not like you even care. You're never home. You know absolutely nothing about us. Hell, it's probably your fault Max's sickness got so out of hand." He turned to his father. "Yeah, dad. Max! He likes being called Max; he hates the name Maxwell. I wonder why? None of us actually use the name you guys gave us. We've all shortened our names. Hell, Jace would've changed his if he actually gave a damn about anything. Don't come here pretending like you care."

"Alexander Lightwood, you will not talk to us like that." His father was as red as Alec was and his father never showed his emotion. Ever. That's where they all got it from.

"My name is Alec." By now Alec was yelling. "Dammit. Can someone turn this fucking machine off?"

As if on cue, a nurse walked in and took Alec's vitals. He looked at the patient then at the visitors. He knew they were probably in the middle of an argument.

"Alec," he said, "I'm going to need you to calm down. Take three deep breaths slowly. In… out. In… out. In… out."

Alec did as he was told, and immediately the machine stopped beating. "You need to relax, Alec," The nurse said. "In a minute, your visitors will have to go, so that you can rest." He left the patient to say goodbye to his visitors. They didn't really have to leave, but he was concerned about his patient's well being.

Alec turned and looked at his parents. He was seething. Even the nurse knew to call him Alec. What was with that? " Listen, I'm gonna make this really simple. You can either stay. Meaning you don't leave on business trips until Max is in college. You don't stay out late and you actually act like parents. Or, you can leave. You can forget about us. We'll be just fine. We'll make it work without you like we've done for the past seven and a half years. You don't make contact with us at all, and we live happily ever after in some twisted universe. Your Call."

Alec turned over on his side and closed his eyes. This was a big enough message to his parents that he was done talking, because he heard them stand and leave. They did not say goodbye.

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><p><strong>Haha. Did you really think I was going to let Max die? TO be honest, I thought that was the most anti climatic thing for CC to do. It made me mad.<strong>

**Anyways I have one Maybe two Chapters left. **

**Love, Cadence**

**Chau. **


	4. Five Days And Counting

**I'm sorry this has taken so long guys. I've been busy and the internet has been down. But I'm at Nashville Public Library right now so I thought I'd update. I actually wrote the Chapter after this before I wrote this. Forgive me for the wait. :) **

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><p>It had been a day later when Alec awoke again. He knew something was wrong because he was still in the hospital. This time, when he awoke, his siblings were there. Izzy and Max lay beside him while Jace sat in a chair. His head was leaning onto the bed. They were asleep.<p>

Alec tried his hardest to sit up without waking them, but Jace was attuned to everything around him. It's like he sensed that Alec was awake. He sat up and yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Hey," he said.

Alec looked at him. "Hey." After that, they were silent. Jace knew Alec had questions. Why wouldn't he? "Jace, how long have I been in here?" Jace sighed.

"Going on five days." So today was Tuesday. Alec hadn't missed much school. He could deal.

"What happened?" He looked Jace in the eyes and willed him to tell him the truth. Alec would know if he lied anyways.

"The doctors say you're too stressed out. That you could've left the day after the surgery had you not slept for three days. They say it's your mind's way of coping with all the B.S you've been putting up with. The doctor actually suggested that we take you out for a drink. You should've seen Robert's face. I don't know what you said to them, but it pissed them off."

Alec smiled. Then, as if he couldn't hold it in any longer, he burst into laughter. He could really use a drink right now. Beside him, Izzy shifted in her sleep and mumbled something. He shut up quickly and looked at her. She rolled onto her side and wrapped her hands around Alec's torso.

"Be quiet, Alec. We're trying to sleep." She scolded.

"I'm glad I'm feeling better too, Iz." He knew Izzy was just talking in her sleep and that she needed a few seconds to actually wake up. She shook her head and looked up.

She gasped. "Alec you're up. Why didn't you wake me?" She hugged him tighter.

Alec hugged her back. "You seemed to need the rest more than I did."

"Whatever lie you're telling yourself these days. Anyways, the doctor says you're the one that needs to get laid. But I don't know any male hookers, and well, I don't know anybody interested." He tried not to think of Magnus when she said this.

"I thank you Isabelle for making it clear that I lack any game whatsoever."

"At least you admit your defeat. You should come clubbing with us when you get out." Jace said this.

"Which brings me back to another question: when am I getting out of here?"

As if on cue, the nurse from last time walked in. "Alec are these delinquents giving you a hard time?" He flashed Alec a bright smile and winked.

"No. It's the ones from before that I need to worry about." Alec frowned. Was this nurse flirting with him?

"Oh, that's good." The nurse continued to check his vitals. "Well it seems your good to go. I'm gonna hate to see you leave, though. I kinda have a thing for blue eyes." Alec felt himself blush. He was not getting hit on with his siblings in the same room. It just wasn't happening.

The nurse signed the clipboard at the end of Alec's bed. "How about you give me a call sometime?" the nurse asked. Bold, wasn't he. Alec was sure his head would explode from embarrassment.

"Uh, that's probably not gonna happen. I… uh…I'm not really looking for someone right now."

"Alec." Isabelle yelled at him. "You are not turning him down. He's cute, and you need to get out more."

"Yeah, Alec. Listen to your sister. It could do you some good." The nurse was hopeful. He gave Alec his number and winked as he left the room.

Well, Alec knew that wasn't going to happen. Anyone that said listen to Izzy was not completely there. He could also think of a few other reasons why he wasn't going to call him. He turned to his sister and gave her the death glare. Izzy, in turn, looked innocently at Alec.

Jace was the first one to break. He had been holding his breath to keep from laughing and all his laughter came out in one great burst. Then Izzy laughed with him. And Alec allowed himself to chuckle a little. "That did not just happen." He tried to convince himself.

"Yeah it did. I take it back. You don't need to go clubbing with us. You're perfectly capable of finding your own." He continued to laugh.

"Yeah," Izzy joined in. "I _thought _I didn't know anyone interested but I was so wrong it hurts." She held her sides as she laughed. She gasped as if she couldn't breathe correctly. She probably couldn't.

Alec was still a bit dumbstruck. "I never get hit on. Like ever. That's usually you guys." Alec still couldn't think straight. It seemed his world was flipped upside down during the span of one week. Less even: it was more like five days.

Izzy had finally stopped laughing at him and was now leaning heavily on his lap. He pushed at her. "Get off of me. Do I have any clothes up here? I don't want to leave in a freakin' hospital gown."

"I can think of a certain nurse who wouldn't mind." Izzy deadpanned. She giggled at herself.

"That's exactly why I want some freaking clothes on."

"Relax, Alec. He's a nurse. He's probably already seen the goods." Jace couldn't help but smirk and Izzy full out laughed again. She leaned off Alec and handed him a bag from the mall with some clothes in it. Alec frowned. He suddenly didn't mind walking out of here with his gown on. Anything was better than whatever Isabelle had bought him.

"Alec, I don't want to hear it. You're leaving this place in style." Alec rolled over Max, who was still asleep, and went into the bathroom connected to his room. When he came out, he couldn't help the glare that he had given Izzy. He wore a pair of black skinny jeans with a gold chain that criss-crossed in the back and connects to two front belt loops. He had on a tight dark purple v-neck that showed off his muscle tone. Alec was hot, whether he knew it or not.

He sat on the bed next to Max, who still hadn't woke up, and put the combat boots she brought on. "Are you guys ready?" He turned to look at Jace and Izzy who were smiling at him. "What?"

"Alec, you look really hot."

"Thanks Iz. I know. Now, let's just go."

He watched as Jace picked up Max. He would've done so, but he had been in the hospital for five days and Jace had got there before he did. They left. Jace in front, Izzy behind him, and Alec last. Alec stopped at the Nurse's station and gestured for them to continue. He had to tell the nurse that he wasn't going to call. It was better to let him down now, than to have him thinking he'll call and be disappointed.

"Listen," he said to the nurse. "You seem like a nice guy, but I'm not over my ex yet, and that just wouldn't be fair to you. I really am sorry we weren't able to meet at a different time."

"It's okay, Hun. I went out on a whim anyways. Don't worry about it." He smiled that blinding smile and Alec returned a half-smile. He turned away awkwardly, and went to catch up with his siblings.

"What was that about?" Jace asked as they waited for the elevator.

"That was me letting him down easily." To Alec, that was the weirdest thing to say for him. He had no game whatsoever. He didn't even know the definition of the word.

They drove home in silence. Max was tuckered out. He didn't even bulge when Jace plopped him in the back seat. Now as they took him out, he only shifted in his sleep and mumbled something about Manga. Poor kid.

Alec walked to his room and took off his boots. He took off his clothes and folded them. Putting them away, he sighed. He was really tired. He hit the bed and slept almost immediately.

When Alec woke up, he didn't feel refreshed. He was dreading the moment when he'd have to face reality. That moment was here. He walked downstairs in his pajamas and started a pot of coffee. His family would need it. They always did.

When he got downstairs, he was surprised to see his parents already sitting at the table. They looked like they hadn't slept well, or at all. He only hesitated slightly before walking in on them. He didn't know how to feel towards them. He didn't know whether he should be angry, or indifferent, or not give a damn at all. He was thinking the latter.

He filled the coffee pot up and went to put some biscuits in the oven. For a second he almost found it weird how easily he fell back into routine. Then he thought he was just over analyzing crap and continued doing what he was doing. He put the temperature on 250 degrees. The temperature was low enough that it gave him enough time to shower and dress and come back down to take out the food. He'd always done it.

He did it now.

After putting on the clothes he took off last night—he had to admit, they weren't that bad looking—he came back downstairs. His parents were still in their same spots at the table. He ignored them and took the food out. He checked the time. It was six-forty-five. It was time to wake up Iz and Jace. He went to do so.

Alec felt he was over analyzing things. He couldn't stop thinking. It made him a bit upset. Some things were better left un-thought. He made his way to Isabelle's room and knocked. He hoped to the Angels above that he wouldn't trip over anything as he went in. "Iz." He shook her. "Izzy wake up." She swatted at his hands and turned over. Typical. "Izzy." This time he shook her harder.

Finally she woke up. "Hey. Are you going to school today?"

Alec looked at her, and then looked down at himself. Then he looked back at her. "What does it look like?"

"Well at least you're going in style. I thought I was going to have to fight with you."

"Whatever you say, Izzy. Get up."

Alec left Izzy's room and went to knock on Jace's door. Before he even knocked once, Jace yelled: "I'm up."

Alec rolled his eyes and kept going down the hallway. He entered Max's room without knocking. "Max," He shook him. "Max!"

Max rolled over and looked at Alec.

"Alec! What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm sorry would you like me to leave?"

"Are you kidding? No. When did you come home?"

Alec smiled at his little brother. "Last night. You were so tired; we couldn't have woken you if we tried. Get up, Kiddo. Are you going to school?"

"Yeah. Did mom and dad make you go, too?"

"Nope. I'm going because I'm going to blow a fuse sitting around here all day. Go get ready. I'll drive you."

Alec walked downstairs and started fixing coffee for the three of them. Max didn't drink coffee so he poured him some orange juice. All the while his parents sat there in silence staring into space. Alec sipped his own cup of coffee and thought to himself. He would not be the one that broke their silence. He heard Izzy and Jace coming down the stairs. They were arguing as usual. Alec smiled. How could he think things would have changed?

Alec drove Max to school. Max, whom he loved so much, was bouncing in his seat. He was excited about showing all his friends the brother who saved his life. Alec smiled and looked in the rearview mirror at Max. He knew he couldn't say no to Max. NO matter how embarrassed he was to be the center of attention; by ten year olds no less.

He dropped Max off and said hi to all his friends. They seemed to idolize Alec the way that Max idolized Jace before he was sick. They all agreed that Alec was awesome.

Alec smiled as he drove away. He looked into his rearview mirror and saw Max waving wildly along with his friends. He loved his brother. He loved his family. Nothing would ever change that.

Alec drove in pleasant silence. He hadn't even realized that he had navigated his way to school. He sat in the parking lot wondering how he was going to face the day. What would he do if Magnus tried to talk to him? Would he blow his top? He didn't know what was going to say?

Luckily he didn't have to approach Magnus. Magnus came to him while he was still sitting in his car. He knocked on the window lightly, and Alec unlocked his doors. Alec said nothing as Magnus got into the car.

When he was situated, Alec spoke. "Listen Magnus, I…" At the exact same time Magnus had spoke. Saying:

"Listen Alec, I… You go first." Alec blushed, but continued.

"I know I should trust you, and I want to. But so many things have happened in the past week, month, year. I just need to get back on top of things. I'm sorry Magnus. I just need a little more time before we restart our relationship." Alec looked Magnus in the eye as he spoke. He wanted to get his point across. He was pissed that Magnus had gotten himself in that situation, but deep down he knew it wasn't his fault. He needed just what he asked for. Time.

"How long?"

"I don't know." Magnus nodded. He knew damn well what the cost was. He knew there was a chance that Alec would never be ready, but that was a chance he was willing to take. If ever he needed a miracle, this was it. He needed Alec to come back and be his. And he would have to wait.

Magnus nodded again and got out of the car. Before he shut the door he said, "Call me when you're ready." He didn't mean for his feelings to show in his words, but they did. He didn't mean to slam the door when he got out of the car. But he did.

Alec watched Magnus walk away. He knew that Magnus was being unfair. But a sliver of doubt had been planted in his head. Has he gone and messed things up again? Alec didn't want to think about it. From inside the school he heard the bell ring. He put his car back into gear and decided to try school tomorrow. Maybe Thursday would be a good day.

For two weeks Jace, Izzy and Alec had got on track. They made it to school on time and they didn't party. Both Isabelle and Jace were going steady with their significant others and went out occasionally with them. Only Alec stayed home. He hadn't realized the stupor he had put himself into. He thought he was doing just fine. Apparently he was mistaken when Isabelle came into his room one Friday night.

"Get off your ass. We're going to Pandemonium."

"Izzy, aren't you dating someone?"

"Yes and he's coming with me. You, on the other hand, are not dating anyone. Once I finish with you, every guy will wish he had you. Even Jace… No just kidding. Clary would kick your ass."

"Thanks for the moral support, Iz. You do realize she looks like a twelve year old, right?"

"She'd kick your ass if she heard you say that."

Alec thought about that. Then he realized Izzy was right. "Oh, god, don't tell her I said that. All I need is one-hundred-one pounds of pure muscle looking to kill me. I think I'll just go into hiding." Even though Alec was joking, there was no emotion in his voice. Even he heard the blandness in his words. He wasn't the same as when he'd been with _Magnus_. Even thinking his name made him grimace.

"Listen, Alec. I don't know the back story of what happened between you and Magnus, but you are either going to get back with him, or get over him. You're going out, and I'm dressing you. And yes you are wearing Make-up." She saw Alec Grimace and thought it was because of the Make-up. "Don't worry. A little eye liner never hurt anyone."

Alec was actually grimacing at the thought of getting over Magnus. He had been thinking about it a lot and the more he thought about it, the more he hoped he wasn't just screwing himself and Magnus over. That would suck major ass. Maybe he would see Magnus tonight, and talk. Magnus always came on a Friday night. With or without Alec, he came.

Alec hoped against hope that Magnus would be there. That's all he thought about as Isabelle made him try different combinations of clothes. They'd finally settled on black skinny jeans, deep blue shirt and his signature boots. Alec looked good, he had to admit. Isabelle applied a little eye liner on his eyes and some blue eye shadow. Alec didn't mind. Maybe he would catch Magnus' attention.

Downstairs, Simon and Clary rang the door bell. Alec went downstairs to answer it, but saw that his parents had already done so. Alec wasn't that surprised. His parents were trying and failing to infuse themselves into the lives of their children. They asked questions like normal parents did, but they weren't normal parents.

Alec rolled his eyes. At least they were making an attempt. The problem was they shouldn't have had to. Parenting should have come easily to them. It didn't.

"Hey mom. Hey dad. We're going out." Isabelle said grabbing a light jacket.

"Okay. Curfew at ten." Isabelle stopped what she was doing and made a face. Alec damn near died of laughter. Isabelle continued what she was doing. When she was done, she grabbed Simon's hand and half carried him, half pulled him to the door.

Jace was staring at our mom as if she had two heads. Mom looked at the two. She still didn't understand what was wrong. Jace shrugged. "Whatever, mom." He didn't say it in a mean way, but you could tell he wanted to.

Maryse turned to Alec. "Did I miss something?" Alec almost rolled his eyes. She didn't miss something, she missed everything.

"Mom, curfew's not at ten. It's at midnight. If you don't want your feelings hurt, don't come here trying to change the rules and boundaries we've already set for ourselves. It'll only get worse for you.

"Don't you think Midnight is a little late, Alec? I mean you are the oldest. You're supposed to be the responsible one."

"No mom, I'm eighteen. I'm supposed to be the most reckless. You guys made me the responsible one when you decided not to come home." Alec went to the door. Before he left though, he turned to say something else. "If you don't want us sneaking in at all hours of the night, you'll keep the curfew at midnight. Anytime after that is out of my jurisdiction." He came outside and started his car. He turned to look at Izzy who was in the passenger seat.

It was like she was freaking psychic or some shit. She always knew when Alec was feeling down. "Alec, my sole purpose for tonight is to get you drunk." Alec laughed along with her.

"Won't Simon be jealous?"

"He'll deal. Right, Simon." Alec looked in his rearview to see Simon blushing.

Jace tried to stifle his laughter. "Simon, you're so getting laid tonight." At that, even Clary laughed.

Alec pulled into the parking lot of Pandemonium. "Fine. But for every drink I take, you guys take two."

They all agreed too quickly for Alec's liking, and he knew he would be drunk before the night was over with. It was funny how he didn't care. He made a promise to himself that he would do something tonight that he would regret tomorrow.

He entered the club. They were playing a song that he could dance to. That was the first thing he did. He danced. He took Isabelle and Simon's hand and brought them to the floor. He danced as provocatively as he could without making things awkward with his sister and her boyfriend.

When the song went off, they all got drinks. Alec drank two so everyone else drank four. Alec, unknowingly, had ordered non-alcoholic drinks. When he realized this, he thought it was for the best. After all, they'd need a designated driver, and there was no way he was leaving his car.

Alec was having a great time. That was until he saw Magnus and Rodney talking. He stiffened as he watched them. Rodney seemed to be trying to explain something to Magnus, but Magnus wasn't hearing any of it. Rodney turned and made his way to the door. Magnus followed him. Alec rolled his eyes. If that was how it was, then that's that. There was no changing his mind. From then on, he danced harder. He drank more. This time it was hard liquor. He was going to regret something. He intended on regretting it all.

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><p>There you go. Happy? I know lovies. A chapter after this.<p>

~Cadence.


	5. Forever And Always

New Point of view, My lovies. Enjoy.

PS. There's a bit of lemonade at the end and some Language at the beginning. Don't hate me. Love it.

PPS. I don't own Mortal Instruments. (First disclaimer.) {and the last}

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><p>Chase was mad. No, mad doesn't cut it. He was fucking pissed. Rodney wasn't talking to him. He hated being ignored; especially by Rodney. Rodney had no right. Whenever Rodney was feeling down, he ran to Chase. And Chase was always there. <em>Always<em>. He would never turn his back on Rodney. Chase felt like his life was clouded over and every time Rodney ignored him, it felt like the clouds were storming over him. He would be in the hall, waiting by Rodney's locker, but Rodney would walk right passed him and try to talk to Magnus. Can't he see that Magnus isn't interested?

Every single time Rodney failed to give Chase the time of day, Chase's mind floated to that day so long ago when Rodney promised him. Of course it had to be raining that day. Everything about to Chase's life was cliché. And then Chase had to be freaking angry at Rodney. He can't remember why. For the life of him, he can't remember. No matter how hard he rakes his brain, he can't remember. And somehow he knows, whatever it was was unforgiveable. But he forgave Rodney anyways. Because that was the day Rodney had said he loved him. Forever and always is what he said. How could he have been so dumb to believe him? How could he still be in love with him after all he's been through?

But Chase had to try, didn't he? Chase kept calling; every night before he went to bed and every day after he woke up. But Rodney doesn't answer. With nothing left to do, he turns to Pandemonium. If he can make Rodney jealous, then maybe he'll realize how much he wants and needs Chase. Chase had always been a mastermind. He would just find some random guy to dance with him. That would make Rodney see how badly he wanted it. That would make him see.

Chase didn't anticipate how hard it would be to find someone to dance with him. He was gay, so a girl wouldn't cut it. No, he needed a guy. Not just any guy though; he needed an extremely attractive guy. He saw someone he hadn't seen here before: black locks, blues eyes. Gorgeous. Chase knew those eyes from somewhere, but it couldn't be. He found himself drawn to this boy. It seemed the entire dance floor was drawn to him. Everyone floated around him as he danced with someone. It was another guy he didn't recognize.

Chase couldn't believe it. He danced into the crowd to see if his assumptions were true. Was this Alec Lightwood? He was close enough to see. Alec was dancing with some guy that wasn't Magnus. Part of him felt a little self satisfied. Alec wasn't seeing Magnus, and Magnus still wasn't interested in Rodney.

He heard the song end. He walked back to the bar and sat. Even if Alec did dance with him, it seemed Rodney wasn't even there. He ordered a drink. Anything with alcohol would do. Sure he was underage, but the Bartender didn't ask for I.D. Chase decided he liked this guy. He just needed to drown away a little bit of his sorrows.

He heard someone sit down beside him. The guy ordered something legal and downed it. He seemed to be panting slightly. He turned and shined his bright eyes on Chase.

"Oh, hey, you're Chase, right?" Alec addressed him in a voice you would use if you were talking to someone you used to be friends with. Alec and Chase had never been _friends_.

"Uh, yeah, you're Alec, right."

Alec Nodded. "So how's it going?" Alec tried not to think about the fact that Chase's boyfriend had stolen his boyfriend. It was too complicated and not worth it. He tried, instead, to make this night work. He hadn't been out in a while. He was determined to regret something he'd did before he went home.

Chase, on the other hand, looked the exact opposite. He was not having a good time. He was regretting everything: not just one thing. He wanted to go home. He wanted someone to talk to. Maybe Alec would be it. "Things could be better." Chase was not like the lightwoods. His emotions always showed on his face. Even when he tried to fight it, it showed. He was like cellophane.

Alec saw right through him. "It's Rodney, isn't it?" Alec knew already. The question wasn't rhetorical though.

Chase was taken aback. He had kept his relationship with Rodney a secret because Rodney wasn't ready yet. He had done everything for Rodney and Rodney had forgotten about him. Yeah, his life sucked. But how could Alec know. They kept it secret. "Yeah, um, were we that obvious? Rodney didn't want anyone to know."

"Naw, I ran into you guys at the park a few months ago. That's how I knew."

"Oh, yeah." Chase became silent. He was thinking whether he should say something else, or should he just keep it to himself. For seven months he had dated Rodney and had no one to talk to whenever Rodney pissed him off. This was his chance to get it off his chest. "The thing is, he's been ignoring me for the past couple of weeks. He's been trying to talk to Magnus and is completely blowing me off. I came here to dance with someone and make him jealous, but it seems he isn't even here tonight. He's always here. I mean, I'm stupid for not letting it go but I can't."

Alec realized he wasn't the only hurting in this situation. It had been a couple weeks since he talked to Magnus. Since he was rude to him and put him out of his hospital room. Since he'd told him he needed time. Truth be told, he missed Magnus. Was he stupid for doing so? That's what happened when you fell in love with someone. You forgave them when you didn't want to and everything was better than what it should have been but you loved them and that was that.

"Chase, you're not stupid. You're in love _and_ you're in luck. Rodney _is_ here. I saw him talking to Magnus about an hour ago before Magnus left. But Rodney came back." Alec flicked his eyes behind Chase to a table in a corner where Rodney was sitting. "He's right there." Alec got a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Do you will want to make him jealous?"Alec grabbed Chase's hand and dragged him to the dance floor. A new song started playing.

Alec was in it for the fun of it. He grinded into Chase so hard he almost lost himself. Dancing like this reminded him of Magnus, but Alec was determined to forget it. He danced like it was natural to him. He became the life of the party. He let go. Tonight he wasn't the same Alec. He was determined to show anyone and everyone a different side of him.

Alec moved his hips to the beat like Magnus taught him. He shook his hair and jumped in the air. But when the song ended, he left it all on the floor. He took Chase's hand and brought him to the bar. This time Alec bought something that _was_ illegal. He downed it in one gulp and ordered another.

He turned toward Chase and smiled. Chase, though, seemed a bit uneasy. "Do you think he saw?" He asked, nervously.

Alec smiled. "You tell me." Rodney was walking up to them, and he looked a bit peeved. He knew it was his fault that Chase was looking elsewhere, but did he have to choose Alec?

"Alec, what the hell? Every time I fall in love with someone, you swoop in and steal them away. What the hell?" Rodney was in Alec's face and Alec knew if they would fight right now, Rodney would have had the upper hand. Rodney was the angriest at the moment and Alec didn't want to fight. But Alec knew Rodney didn't want to fight. He knew that no matter how angry Rodney was, he was mad, mostly, at himself. He had pushed Chase away and ignored him.

"You love me, Rod?" For a second Alec and Rodney had forgotten that Chase was there. Rodney was taken aback. How could he not know how he felt about him? He shouldn't have been as surprised though. He had been so busy lately that he hadn't talked to Chase at all.

"Of course I love you. How could I not?" Rodney turned and looked at Chase.

"Well you seemed more interested in Magnus that I just wasn't sure I meant anything to you."

"Well be sure. You're the one I want."

"Then what have you been doing with Magnus all this time?"

"Trying to apologize." Both Alec and Chase were surprised by this answer. Rodney was sorry for the way he acted. So he realized how big of an ass he had been. At least he knew.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Rodney said. He leaned in and kissed Chase on the lips. It wasn't a heavy, make-out kiss, but a sweet, chaste kiss. Alec felt a pang of jealousy. How could they kiss and make up so easily? He remembered when Magnus kissed him that way. He needed to talk to Magnus.

He watched as they pulled away. They looked at each other like they were the only two people in the world. "I'm happy for you guys," Alec said pulling them back down to Earth. He drank his shot and turned away. He was going to find Magnus.

A hand shot out and grabbed Alec. It was Rodney. "Alec, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I messed up everything for you and Magnus. I just wanted you to know I was sorry." Rodney actually looked sincere.

"It's Okay, Rod. I know." Alec turned away again and looked at his watch. It was 10:30. He had enough time to go to Magnus's Place and talk before Curfew. He decided to walk. Magnus lived relatively close to the club and Alec didn't have enough money for a taxi. He wasn't sober enough to drive. His mistake. No one else's.

He was there in no time. Only Magnus wasn't. Alec hadn't brought his key, which surprised him because he took it with him every time he left the house. Alec started walking back downstairs. He would just call Magnus later. He was still confused though. He saw Magnus leave the club. Where had he gone?

Alec was so lost in thought that he didn't even realize who walked passed him until he was almost out the door.

"Oh, hey Magnus."

"Hello Alec." Magnus turned and continued to walk upstairs.

"Can we talk?" Alec watched Magnus as he walked away.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Oh." Alec almost gave up then. But he realized he didn't want to give up. He wanted Magnus and that would never change. "Hey, hold on a minute. What do you mean there's nothing to talk about. There's a lot to talk about." Alec ran up the stairs after Magnus. He was naturally Athletic, so he made it to the top when Magnus did. "What did I do?"

"Well, for starters, you haven't talked to me in two weeks."

"I told you I needed time."

"How much time?"

"Two weeks, apparently, since I'm here. Look, Magnus. I didn't come here to argue. I…"

"Why did you come here?" Magnus cut him off.

"I _came_ _here_ to say I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions when I should have had faith in you. You loved me, and I didn't trust you. And I'm sorry. I'm scared because I've gone and messed this up when this was all I really wanted." Alec hung his head. He bit his lip, hoping that Magnus would just say something.

"And it took you dancing with a club full of desperate guys to realize it was me you wanted."

Alec sucked in a breath. "You know what. You're damn right. Because I haven't been out in two weeks and when I did I realized why. With you I felt alive. And every time I danced with some guy I remembered that you were the one that taught how to dance that way. And you were the one that taught me how to let loose. How to forgive everyone and everything that did me wrong. Magnus you were the first, and I'm hoping you are the last."

Alec looked into Magnus's eyes. He took a step closer. Magnus took a step back. They done this once more before Magnus bumped into his apartment door. Alec had him trapped. Alec reached out and touched Magnus' cheek. Magnus felt himself leaning into Alec's touch. It had been so long. He wanted this so badly. Magnus knew he had no right to be mad. He should be apologizing to Alec, not the other way around.

Magnus saw how he felt when Alec was just dancing with a different guy. Now he understood what Alec felt when he saw him kissing another guy. The thought of Alec kissing any of those guys made Magnus want to ball up and cry. He decided he was not going to fuck things up this time.

"Can I kiss you?" Alec asked shyly. He was slightly blushing.

"No." Alec's face fell. He didn't understand why Magnus was denying him. He hadn't done anything wrong. He knew Magnus should be apologizing to him; he would let it slide. He was not going to let go so easily.

Magnus watched Alec's reaction. He didn't mean it as a denial. He meant just not like that. He touched Alec's chin and made him look up. "No. Can _I _kiss _you_?"

Alec grinned. "Of course you can." Magnus leaned down and kissed Alec softly. It was just a peck, but in it was everything he felt. He leaned back up and put their foreheads together. He should have known Alec wasn't done with him yet. Alec pulled Magnus back down to him. This time the kiss was something more. It was deep. It took every breath from their body and left them wanting more. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck. He suddenly needed help standing up. He needed air to breathe, but he didn't want to let go.

Magnus was the first to break. "Alec." He placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "You need to go."

"But I don't want to." Alec was in a daze. He hadn't kissed Magnus like that in two weeks. What was he waiting on? The friggin' apocalypse?

"It's almost midnight, hon."

"Oh, shit." That snapped him out of it. "What time is it?"

"Eleven-forty." Alec let out a breath.

"I thought you meant like eleven-fifty-eight. I do need to go though. I don't want to."

"I could come with you."

"Yeah, okay." Alec went downstairs and hailed a cab while Magnus got some clothes. How was he going to sneak Magnus in? Alec realized that he had become his siblings in the course of two weeks. He was acting aloof like Jace. Not letting anything in. Now he's contemplating how to sneak his boyfriend in. Only Izzy has done such a thing. Jace went to the girl's house if he wanted any favors. Izzy brought guys home and put them out at any hour she felt. Alec had to help on many occasions.

Magnus came out with a small bag. Small being used as an objective word. It was small for Magnus. He probably had three out-fits in there and a jar of glitter. His Magnus.

They got in the cab and rode in silence. No doubt they were thinking the same thing. How far would they go tonight? Alec wasn't sure he was ready, but he was willing. If Magnus asked, he would give it up to him. That's what being in love had done to him. It had made him sacrifice.

They pulled up to Alec's house with a couple minutes to spare. Alec got out and held out a hand for Magnus to take. "So, um, how good are you at climbing trees?" There was a tree right outside Alec's window. His parents gave him this room because they thought Alec would be the least likely to use it. Look how that turned out.

"I'm good. Just take my bag."

"Okay. I'll be up to let you in." He looked at his watch. 11:59. " Gotta go." He pecked Magnus on the lips then ran into his house and almost bumped into his parents. "Hey Mom. Hey Dad. I made it home before curfew. Going to bed now." Alec ran upstairs. He saw Jace and Izzy peeking out of their doors. They looked at him like he was crazy. Alec didn't care. His boyfriend was on the other side of his bedroom window and he was planning on making it a long night.

He went inside his room and instinctively locked the door. He saw that his window was already open which meant that Magnus was about to sneak up on his ass and scare the shit out of him. He looked around trying to get his eyes to adjust. All he had to do was find something sparkly. He spotted Magnus behind his dresser. How did he even fit back there?

Alec decided he'd play it cool. He walked over to the window and looked out. "Where the hell did he go?" Alec wondered if he was as good an actor as he thought he was. Probably not, but oh, well. He kept 'looking' out the window even though he could see Magnus' reflection behind him. It came to Alec's mind that they were seniors in High School and yet they did the most childish things. They had a right though. They both had to grow up quicker than they should have. Magnus became an emancipated teen when he was fourteen. He was beaten by various foster parents, until he finally just moved out. Alec was happy he could be Magnus' release.

He heard Magnus behind him. Magnus' wasn't as stealthy as he thought. Alec would have laughed had he not been trying to get Magnus to think otherwise.

Magnus tapped Alec on his shoulder. Alec feigned surprise. "Oh, hell Magnus. How did you get in?"

Magnus' smile fell. "You knew I was in here, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I saw you and then I heard you.

"Dammit."

"It's alright." Alec turned around and wrapped his arms around Magnus's waist. He kissed him deeply. He didn't intend on starting this way. Magnus pushed Alec into the wall and took control. He kissed Alec firmly. His lips were soft yet strong. Alec reveled in the feel of it. He tried not to moan loudly.

Alec brought his hands up and wrapped them around Magnus neck. He lifted his right leg and wrapped it around Magnus, pulling him closer. He needed to be closer. The Friction between the two was more than Alec could handle. His skin was hot and his clothes were stifling. He needed his shirt off. With a growl, Alec pulled away from Magnus. He put his leg down so that he wouldn't fall.

"Is there a problem?" Magnus was out of breath. He whispered.

Alec looked at him. His shirt was already over his head. "Take your shirt off." Alec damn near growled. He tried to keep it down, but it was hard. Magnus complied with Alec's demand. Alec looked at Magnus. Damn, he was hot. Alec reached out and touched Magnus' chest. It almost burned him how hot he was. He pushed Magnus back until his feet reached the bed. Alec pushed him lightly onto the bed and climbed on top. He kissed Magnus's navel and traveled up his stomach. He lavished on the sensitive on Magnus neck: His collarbone, his pulse. Underneath him, Alec could feel Magnus shiver. He smiled.

"I've missed you." He kissed Magnus on the forehead. "Your eyes," He kissed Magnus' eyelids. "Your nose," He kissed him there, too. "Your smile," He pecked Magnus on the lips. "Your lips," He kissed Magnus on the lips. He sucked every wisp of air out of his lungs. To him, there was no such thing as air. When he was with Magnus, he didn't need room to breathe.

Magnus slid from underneath Alec and rolled on top of him. Luckily Alec had just gotten a new, bigger bed, and they didn't fall off. He began to fight Alec for dominance until Alec finally ceded. Magnus held Alec's hands down above his head and straddled him. Never once did his lips leave Alec's. When Magnus did come up for breath, Alec whimpered. He wanted his lips all over his body. He felt Magnus on his waist. Once again he was reminded of how much clothing they were wearing.

Alec slipped on top of Magnus and began to unbuckle his pants. He had them halfway off, when Magnus sat up. That thoroughly stopped Alec from removing Magnus' jeans.

"We should stop," Magnus whispered.

Alec leaned up and kissed him on the lips chastely. "Yeah. We should."

Alec climbed back to the top of the bed and sat next to Magnus. He was Glad Magnus wanted to stop. Truth be told, Alec had lost all control. He was all impulse. Alec kissed Magnus' neck. His skin still burned him. "Thank you." He whispered in Magnus' ear. He felt him shiver. "For stopping me."

"It's okay babe. I'm ready whenever you are. And I know you're not ready yet."

Alec nodded. He rolled over and pulled his own pants off. He threw them to the side before rolling over and seeing Magnus' questioning glance. "I don't sleep in skinny jeans. I always rip them in the night." He smiled.

"Oh. That's reasonable. I guess." Magnus could not begin to even explain how hot it was to see Alec take his pants off. Did he just ask Alec to stop lavishing out attention on his body? What was he thinking?

He rolled off the bed and took his pants off two. He hoped that Alec would be as turned on as he was when he saw him take his pants off. He threw his pants over into the same corner as Alec did. He sat back on the bed and looked at Alec.

Alec was flushed. Damn, if Magnus wasn't the greatest thing that ever happened to him, his life would thoroughly suck. He pulled Magnus underneath the blanket with him. He lay there in the dark looking at Magnus. The only thing that shone other than the stars was his eyes. Alec wrapped his legs around Magnus waist. For the first time in a while, Alec was content. He snuggles into Magnus and falls asleep.

He is glad that Magnus stopped Alec from going too far. He wanted to remember this night, not because they had sex, but because he realized how much he truly loved Magnus. His only one.

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><p>ooohhhh. Alec's a bad boy. Should I continue?<p>

HMU and Review. :)

~ Cadence.


	6. Sleep Alone Tonight

**So here's the next chapter. Please enjoy. It took me forever to write and I didn't even finish it. **

**Disclaimer: no soy Cassandra Clare. :( **

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><p>Alec woke up the next day seemingly for no apparent reason. Whatever it was that he heard was gone now. He looked at his clock. It read 5:36. He looked at Magnus now snuggled up next to him. Alec made to lie down and snuggle into his boyfriend's arms, but then he heard it again. It sounded like a sniffle.<p>

Alec got up and put on some sweat pants. He forgot to put on a shirt when he heard the sniffling again. The thing is Alec knew it wasn't Isabelle or Max. Isabelle didn't sniffle; she didn't try to hide her tears, ever. And Max sounded different. This was someone else entirely and Alec had a feeling he knew who it was.

Alec walked down to the kitchen. He was right, he knew. It was his mother crying. She sat there at the kitchen table silently balling her eyes out. Alec didn't know how to approach this. Had it been Izzy, he'd have already been over there wrapping his arms around her waist, letting her cry on his shoulder. But he shouldn't have to comfort his mom. That's backwards.

Alec felt he shouldn't have been surprised, though. Everything about his life had been backwards. Alec picked up a couple of paper towels and handed them to his mom. He sat across from her and waited for her to get herself together. He already knew what she was going to say. There was a car missing in the driveway: Their fathers. There was someone missing who would have known how to comfort Alec's mom: Her husband. But he wasn't there, obviously. What Alec didn't know was why.

Maryse had finally calmed her breathing. She still didn't look up. Of course she was embarrassed. She hadn't been as quiet as she thought.

"Mom. Where's dad?"

"He's gone."

"I know he's gone. Where did he go?"

"Does it matter? He said… he said he didn't want us anymore. He wanted to start over and make a perfect family. He said he wanted someone who wanted what he wanted. He didn't want to stay home with you guys. He wants to live a faster life. He doesn't understand that his youth is gone."

Alec was boiling over. He had to try hard not to yell. If one thing in life was going good then everything else was going bad. He wished for just one day everything could be all good. Everything.

"Mom, did he… has he… is he… cheating?" Maryse didn't even have to answer. Alec saw the way she looked from his eyes. "How long?" Maryse didn't answer immediately and Alec was becoming impatient. "Don't protect him, mom. He deserves whatever he has coming for him. How long has he been cheating." Alec enunciated the last sentence. His point was clear. He was angry and he needed answers. Now.

"Since you were two." Alec was taken aback. Sixteen years of unlawful marriage. Alec had half a mind to go wake up Jace and hunt down his father.

"All with the same women?"

"No." That's all Alec had to hear. He took out his cell phone. He didn't remember taking it off the charger this morning, but he was glad he had.

He opened it and called his father.

"Hey Dad. Can I talk to you? In person. Yeah, where are you? Taki's, oh that's great. I was headed there to get breakfast anyways. Yeah. I'll be there in a sec." Alec hung up the phone. It was amazing he was able to sound so cheerful when he was about to blow his top in actuality.

Alec got up to put on his leather jacket. He still had no shirt on. "I'll be back." He grabbed his keys. He almost walked out the door when he remembered he had company. "Magnus is in my room. He probably won't come out if he sees I'm not there. He usually gets up at ten. Don't let him stay in there all day long. He's actually nice to talk to." He was about to leave again. "Oh, and feel free to punish me later." He gave a small smile to his mother.

He finally left. He saw that his car was in the driveway. That meant Simon drove them home. It was a good thing he didn't drink or none of them would've made it home. Alec got into his car and drove. It wasn't long before he was outside of Taki's. He looked at his watch. It was almost eight. Where had the time gone? Was he talking to his mom for that long?

He walked into Taki's and went to the front counter. He would order his food first, then have it out with his dad.

"Hello. Welcome to Taki's. What would you like today?"

"Hey Kaelie. Can I have six orders of Coconut pancakes and twelve stuffed sausages to go?"

"Sure. Coming right up. May take a minute though"

"No prob." Alec, after paying, turned and looked for his dad. He didn't have to look hard. His dad was in the far right corner. That's where they always ate. He walked over and sat down across from his father. He had intended on keeping up the happy act. But by then his anger had taken control and put him on overdrive.

For a second he, just looked at his father. Then his father spoke. "So what did you want to talk about?" His father, too, tried to sound cheery. It wasn't working and Alec saw right through the act.

"I think you know dad." His father's smile faltered. How could he really think he was going to pull one over on Alec? Alec was the most discerning of them all.

"You've only heard her side of the story." Robert fiddled with his fingers. He looked at them instead of Alec's eyes.

"Okay well, I'm here to hear your side."

"I didn't mean to fall in love with your mother. It just sorta happened. She was supposed to be just a fling, a rebound from the girl I'd just broken up with. I should have broken things off with her. I should've stopped it all back then. And I would have, too, had she not been pregnant." Robert stopped as if he was giving Alec time to let that sink in. Alec understood almost immediately. He gestured for his father to continue.

"I started our marriage out wrong. I didn't love her though she loved me. But I grew to love her. But I didn't grow fast enough. I started seeing other people. I never told her, though I don't doubt she knew. I was going to leave her. We'd gotten into this big argument about it. I was going to leave. That's when she told me she was pregnant again. I couldn't leave her with a kid on the way. I had to give her time to get situated. She had money. Her parents left her large inheritance. She didn't need me to sustain her. But for some odd reason, she loved me and I had begun to love her. There's no other way to put it. I had fallen in love with her for the first time. When you were three and Izzy was new born.

"She took care of you guys and watched you guys and barely had time for me. I was… jealous. I tried whenever I could to take her attention off of you guys. I wanted her to see me the way she did before she found out about my affair. I was selfish. I wanted her to love me even when I wasn't true. I was afraid she had fallen out of love with me. I decided if she didn't love me I wouldn't love her. So I stepped out again. I didn't know. I didn't understand that she hadn't fallen out of love with me, she just had so much things to do. She refused to let someone else watch you guys. So we never went out together. I thought she didn't love me. How could I have been so stupid? I understood how she must have felt when I told her about my affair. And how she felt when I told her about my second one.

"I tried, Alec. I really did. For seven years, she was the only woman I slept with. The only woman I thought about and loved. For seven years, she was my only one. Then she became pregnant again, with Max. That was around the same time Jace came. With two new kids, she had no time for me and I hated her for it. I loathed her. I wished she'd just stop whatever it was she was doing and spend time with me. Sure, she went on business trips with me now and then, but she still felt nervous about leaving you guys with anyone. She was home more often than I was.

"But as you got older, she got more lenient. She wanted to save our marriage and she would do whatever it took. Even if that meant letting you grow up a little faster than you should have. Finally we both realized that this wasn't working. She was especially mad at me when we weren't here when Max was sick. I couldn't have known. But she was pissed. We got into an argument. I told her I was leaving. This time she didn't plead with me to stay. She told me if I wanted to leave she wasn't going to stop me. I told her I would find a perfect woman and we'd have the perfect family. I just wanted to hurt her as badly as she hurt me."

"You Bastard." Alec whispered under his breath. He was seething. "Do you know I woke up to Mom trying her hardest to cry silently so that no one heard her? What if Jace or Isabelle had found her like this? What if, god forbid, Max had. Dad, everything you just said to me only pulls you in deeper. You're extremely selfish. You want everything with none of the responsibility. You wanted to sleep with mom and pray to God she didn't get pregnant. You married her but you didn't want to be tied down to one person. You loved her and you became afraid she didn't love you back. You only thought of yourself. What about me, dad? I didn't get the luxury of being reckless. What about Izzy? She probably already knows about you cheating. No wonder she never gets into serious relationships. And dammit, god forbid Max ever finds out about this. He's so young and innocent. He's too young to be put through the mill. You guys wanna break fine. Make sure it's a clean cut. Don't draw us into the middle of it. Have a nice life." Alec got up and walked to the counter. His dad stood behind him and followed him.

"Alec, that's not fair."

"Life isn't fair, _dad_." He put emphases on dad like it was a poison on his tongue.

"Did you ever think this was hard for me, too? Or did you immediately take your mother's side. You didn't come here to hear me out." Before Alec knew what he was doing, his father was already stumbling backwards. Alec didn't mean to hit him. For a moment he had seen red.

"Go to hell, _dad._" He realized had just made a scene. He grabbed his food, muttered a quick thank you to Kaelie and left. Alec got into his car, and finally looked back. He noticed blood coming from his father's nose. He probably broke his nose. Serves him right, Alec thought. He should've known better.

Alec drove home. Every time something went wrong, he drove. It eased his mind, made him concentrate on other things like the stoplight in front of him. He parked his car in the driveway, turned it off. He took a breather before going inside.

When he walked in, everyone was already up. Even Magnus. He and Maryse were having a conversation while Jace and Izzy rummaged in the cabinets and refrigerator. Max was watching an Anime. "I brought food," he announced. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Alec. He didn't think he was that quiet, but apparently no one had noticed his entry.

After their moment of shock, both Jace and Isabelle attacked Alec. They yanked the bags of his hands and brought them to the kitchen table. Max turned up the volume on the TV so that he could hear it in the kitchen and ran to join his siblings. Only Magnus and Maryse stayed put. Alec walked to the table where Magnus and his mom were sitting. He sat down in between them.

"Hey." He leaned over and kissed Magnus on the cheek. He passed them each a plate with three pancakes and two sausages. He, himself began to chow down immediately. He still hadn't noticed the red stain on his left fist.

Magnus took his hand. "What happened to you? And where have you been?" He gestured to Alec's attire. Alec blushed. He forgot he didn't have a shirt on underneath his jacket.

"I went out. What do you mean what happened to me?" Magnus showed Alec his hand. Immediately Alec knew what had happened. He didn't know he had hit his father that hard. His knuckles were busted. He stood and washed his hands at the sink. "Oh, that's uh, nothing."

No one in the room seemed to believe him. Max was the only one who was oblivious to this interaction. "Max," his mother said. "Do you wanna eat in the living room? Just for today."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, as long as you don't make a mess."

"Yeah, okay." Max picked up his plate that had way too much syrup on it and nearly ran to the living room. Everyone watched Max. As soon as he was seated, every eye turned on Alec.

"What?" He was damn near blushing. Why the hell was everyone staring at him?

"Alec, everyone except Max knows about your father and I. Now tell us what happened to your hand."

"Oh. Well, you see, I kind of broke dad's nose." Alec tried to say it really quickly so no one would catch what he was saying. So, naturally, everyone understood what he had said.

"What do you mean, you broke his nose."

"Now mom, before you get too angry, just know he was being a totally ass-wad. He didn't even sound sorry. He's lucky all I did was punch him."

"What did he say?" Maryse looked on the brink of tears. Alec sat back down beside her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"It doesn't matter, mom. He said it. He told me everything. Starting with when you were pregnant with me. He's done what he's done. There's no taking back his actions. They're done."

Maryse began to silently cry. Alec wiped away her tears. "Mom, the way I see it, you deserve better. You did everything to keep your marriage together, even if keeping your marriage together involved leaving us home to fend for ourselves. He told me that it was his choice for you guys to be constantly gone. You loved him and he betrayed you. It's not your fault. So quit crying your heart out."

"I'll be okay Alec. I just need some time." It was almost startling the way she used his exact wording to Magnus a couple weeks before.

"I understand." Maryse smiled and went up to her room. She left her plate of food untouched. When she left, there was silence. Isabelle was the first to break it.

"Who knew dad was a total jerk?" She looked thoughtful. Jace raised his hand.

"I knew, I just didn't think anyone would believe me if I told them." Alec looked at Jace with a slight smirk.

"Jace I mean this with all the brotherly love in the world. He acted exactly like you. Angsty, and then aloof, and then more angst, and then angry, and then he was just plain assy."

"I don't act like that."

"Sure you do. He's just a magnified version of that."

"So you punched him?"

"Yeah. Thing is, I didn't even try to. He just made me so angry I forgot who he was. I was embarrassed for him."

"Alec I love you and all, but when did you become _us_?" Isabelle looked serious. "I mean, first you get into a fight and start making out in bathrooms. Then, you get hit on, by an older guy no less. Then you get drunk and go dancing…"

"Wait. Alec got hit on?" All three teenagers turned to look at Magnus. He had been so quiet, they'd forgotten he was here.

"Yeah, well, yeah…" Alec sent a glare to Isabelle. "You know the nurse from the hospital."

"The blonde one?"

"No the red head with the gray eyes." Magnus nodded. "He sorta, kind of asked me out."

"And what did you say?" Alec looked at Magnus like he had three heads."

"What do you think I said?" Alec was almost insulted. Almost. Had Magnus not been smirking at him, he would have scowled.

"Is that why you didn't talk to me for two weeks?" Magnus was suddenly serious.

"No Magnus. I let him down easily because I wasn't over you." Alec patted Magnus' hand suddenly looking sympathetic.

"Wait, you guys broke up. Why?" Again Alec had forgotten about his audience. Jace seemed peeved that he was the only one who didn't realize Alec and Magnus were on a break.

Magnus started to say something, but Alec cut him off. "Does it matter?"

Isabelle was laughing. "Like I said, when did you become us? You even snuck Magnus in last night. I never thought I'd see the day."

"Shut up." Alec was blushing hard.

"Don't be embarrassed, Alec. You've already sealed the deal. There's no going back." Izzy looked smug. Magnus snorted. It was attractive on him.

"What are you talking about?" Alec was genuinely confused. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. "We didn't do _that!_" Jace smirked at him.

"Sure you didn't. You had Magnus in your bad last night, and you _didn't _jump his bones. _That's_ feasible." Magnus laughed this time. He was enjoying Alec's discomfort. "So was he a good lay?" Jace asked Magnus.

"I wouldn't know." Magnus, though he was enjoying this, decided it was time to cut it short.

"Wait, you guys didn't do it?" Isabelle was a bit peeved. "I mean, of course Alec's going to deny it, but not you Magnus. I'm disappointed in you. You get a night with my brother finally, and you don't get in his jeans."

"Okay. This conversation is now over." Alec had finally recovered from his embarrassment. They had all finished eating, and Alec collected their plates and put them in the dishwasher. "Besides, why is our sex life so exciting?"

"Since you actually have a sex life," Jace smirked.

"I'm leaving," Alec announced and dragged Magnus after him, up to his room.

"Leave the door open," Isabelle said.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to watch?" Alec shouted back. From downstairs he heard Jace and Isabelle laughing. Of course, everyone was enjoying this, but himself.

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><p><strong>So I ended on a good note, yes? What happens next chapter. Should Maryse and Robert find a way to stay together? Will Alec and Magnus finally talk about all the sexually tension everyone else is picking up on? Will they act on it? Let me know. <strong>

**Review. **

**~Cadence. **


	7. My Only One

**This one is short, I know. But you'll like it... I hope. Anyways, notice that the rating has indeed changed. (If that's any hint at what's to come.) **

**Here we go. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments or the Characters. I don't own any music by One Less Reason, though a girl can hope. **

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><p>Once Alec and Magnus were into the hallway and away from Isabelle's prying eyes, Alec stopped dragging him. He turned to Magnus and kissed him chastely.<p>

"You wanna go explore my giant house?" Alec asked him. He had other things on his mind, but he wasn't going to outright ask.

"Yeah sure." Magnus knew Alec had other motives, he just didn't know what they were. Alec grabbed Magnus's hand and led him to the third floor. There was a corridor that looked much like the second floor except it was extended and had more rooms. Alec didn't go into any of the rooms. He knew what they contained. He wasn't really exploring, though that had been his excuse.

He had other things on his mind. He stopped in front of one of the rooms. It was black despite all the other white ones. He looked at Magnus with a sparkle in his eyes. "This is my other room. Our parents gave us two." He twisted the knob and opened the door. Magnus looked on. He wasn't expecting what he saw. It was as if Alec's alter ego had decorated this room. It was a deep winter green that seemed to go on forever. Painted onto the green back drop was a forest. The trees varied in shades and tints of green. The trunks were ebony brown. Painted, at seemingly random intervals, were bright colored butterflies: each of them different from the next. His ceiling was navy blue, almost black. Splayed across it were stars. Some of them were pink and orange, while others were black. Some stood out while others sunk into the background.

Magnus gaped at the sheer beauty of it all. Who was this Alec; this man he thought he knew so well. Why had Magnus never seen this side of him before? He looked into Alec's eyes. In them, he could finally see the sensitivity, the intricacy, the confusion, the wonder, the profound contemplation behind his normal shades of black.

Alec gently squeezed Magnus' hand before letting go. He walked to the edge of the bed (Magnus hadn't even noticed) and sat down. He patted the bed beside him, indicating to Magnus that he should sit. "I used to come up here when things were troubling me. This was my hideaway and no one could come and intrude. This was my personal space and people understood that. Isabelle uses her second room as a closet. Jace doesn't use his. It was convenient that I found release here."

Alec was blushing slightly. He looked away from Magnus shyly and played with the threads of the comforter. It was black. That was no surprise.

"I painted it. When I first started coming up here it was bland: all white. I was so confused back then. My awkward stage came years before Isabelle and Jace even knew the meaning of the word. Or maybe they never came to the awkward stage. Maybe they skipped right over it. It was likely. They already had it planned out who they were going to be. They knew they'd be ready to settle around the time they turned sixteen and they did. They are settling. But I was always the confused one. No matter how strongly I held it together for them, most of the time I was just as unsure."

Alec looked into Magnus eyes again. "And then I figured out who I was and I knew myself so well. But I don't understand how I got here. How could my life be so perfect one day and turned upside down the next. How did I get here?" Alec lay back onto the bed. He covered his eyes with his hands. He breathed deeply. He wasn't crying, but he was damn near tears.

"Alec, I hate seeing you like this. Your family is all you ever think about. When is it going to be about you?" Alec didn't answer. He breathed in sharply but he did not answer.

"You should really take your mind off it. You can't keeping thinking it's your fault. You can't have control over everything."

Alec took his hands away from his face. "Why don't you take my mind off all the other bull shit going on in my life, then?" There was a hint of a challenge in Alec's voice. There was a look of determination in his cerulean eyes.

"I thought you'd never ask." In a second their mouths clashed together in a hungry kiss. Alec was taking the initiative though. He pulled Magnus' hair and dug his nails in. When Magnus gasped, he slipped his tongue in.

Magnus couldn't say he wasn't enjoying this, but how far would they go. Yesterday, Alec acted like he was ready. Today, he actually seemed ready. Alec pulled Magnus in between his legs, and then he rolled over so that he was on top and Magnus was underneath him. He slipped his hands underneath Magnus' t-shirt. His skin was hot, and everywhere Alec touched him burst into fire. It was getting harder to breath.

Alec finally pulled Magnus' shirt off. He looked at Magnus with all the lust in the world. Magnus leaned up and kissed Alec. He bit Alec's lower lip before pulling away completely: a tease. Alec decided he'd return the favor, kissing Magnus everywhere except where he wanted Alec's lips the most. Alec kissed Magnus down his chest to his bellybutton. By now he was used to Magnus' slight deformity: Where his navel was supposed to be, there was only a slight dip and nothing more.

Alec liked at the small indentation. He smirked when he heard Magnus' strangled moan. Alec would bet that did feel nice but he had more pressing issues. There was still too much clothing between the two of them.

He slipped his hands underneath the waistband of Magnus's jeans. Bold, wasn't he? He was testing the waters and saw that Magnus put up no fight whatsoever. He shimmied down Magnus' sweatpants and was mildly surprised to find he wore no underwear.

Alec only hesitated slightly. Then, he continued his ministrations. He was surprised he wasn't as nervous as he would have thought. He kissed Magnus on the lips before going down on Magnus. For a second Magnus didn't breathe. It felt that good. He would wonder for days afterwards where Alec got the courage. Alec, though at first seemed hesitant, was soon deep-throating Magnus. He looked at Magnus to watch his reaction. He wanted to see what Magnus liked.

But sooner rather later it became not enough. Alec wanted more. He needed more. He sat up to look at the feverish Magnus. How could he phrase this? He bit his lip thinking. "Magnus, May I… Can I be… inside you?" He bit his lip again. This time he bit hard, afraid of rejection. He heard Magnus' sharp intake of breath.

Alec waited. It was a dreaded ten seconds. Then, finally, Magnus nodded. "Are you sure?"

Again Magnus nodded.

"I'll be gentle," Alec reassured. He pulled out a bottle of lube that he now carried with him whenever he was with Magnus. It was cliché but he wanted to be prepared. He shimmied off his own sweatpants and boxers. He wasn't surprised to see how hard he was. He felt it in every tense motion. He coated himself with the lube. He was so sensitive to every grope. He inhaled loudly. The wait was killing him. He leaned over and kissed Magnus again. You could see the nervousness in his eyes. "Okay, baby." Alec snaked his hand in between them. He slowly pressed his pointer finger into Magnus' opening. He stopped when he heard Magnus gasp.

Only when Magnus nodded, did he continue. He withdrew his one finger and replaced it with two. Again he stopped at Magnus' discomfort. The anticipation was enough to rush this process, but it wouldn't be as good. It wouldn't feel as great. Neither of them would be filled. It would tear them apart and Alec couldn't have that. Not in a time like this. So he waited. He knew, in the end, it would be worth the wait.

Alec could feel the change in Magnus. His breathing became more erratic. He moaned in pleasure instead of discomfort. His body was ready. Alec withdrew his fingers. He kissed Magnus again. This time it wasn't a peck. It was deep and it portrayed all their feelings. Alec whispered into Magnus' ear, "Are you ready?" Magnus nodded.

Alec took this slow. He positioned himself in between Magnus' legs and lowered himself into Magnus. He went as slowly as possible. He didn't want to hurt Magnus, but he knew he was.

He felt Magnus shivering underneath him with the sheer pressure of Alec being inside. Alec watched Magnus' face to register how much pain he was in. He saw tears in Magnus' eyes. He kissed them away as they fell.

"I know it hurts, baby. I'm sorry." Alec went to withdraw when Magnus stopped him.

"It's okay, I just… I just love you so much and I don't want to lose you."

Alec kissed Magnus for what he was worth (which was a lot.) and stole all his breath away. He felt the tension in Magnus seep out. He was fine now. "I love you, too, baby."

Alec withdrew halfway and pushed back into Magnus. Magnus was now enjoying it. He moaned into Alec's chest. Alec withdrew and thrust harder. Again and again. With every thrust, Magnus moaned louder. If that wasn't enough, Alec reached between them and grabbed Magnus' erection. He pumped in time to his thrusts.

"Alec… I'm—" Magnus cut off with a moan.

"Almost." Alec said. He, too, was close. His thrusts became more erratic and he lost his preset timing. Magnus shot up and yelled out his lover's name. He was coming and it felt amazing. Magnus had never felt such pleasure.

Alec came seconds after Magnus. His eyes were wide as he rode out his orgasm. "Magnus." He moaned. It was good. He wouldn't have been able to manage such a pleasure. After milking them completely of their orgasmic release, Alec rolled to the side of Magnus. He kissed Magnus on the lips.

He wrapped his legs around Magnus' hips. He had just had all of Magnus and again, he felt himself being turned on. The closeness of them was almost too much to bear. He looked into Magnus' cat-like eyes.

"I love you." He kissed him again. "I love you so much. And… And I'm sorry."

Now it was Magnus' turn to be confused. "Why are you sorry?" He had a crease in his forehead.

"I used you. I was frustrated and I took it out by taking our innocence. I should've waited."

"Alec, no." Magnus shifted so that he could look at Alec more closely. "No. You shouldn't have waited. We were both ready. So your parent's divorce was your reason for taking me here. It could've been anywhere. You were ready and you were able to follow up on your feelings."

"Yeah but I wanted it to be romantic."

Magnus kissed Alec this time. "It was romantic. You brought me to this secret escape that you painted so you could think things through. You came here when you were frustrated. That's why you came just now. And you brought me. And I loved it."

Suddenly the old Alec, the unsure one, was back. "It was good?"

"The best I've ever head."

"I'm the only one you've had."

"True. Now every other guy after you will have a tough act to follow."

"What if I'm the only one?"

"Then I'm glad it's you." Magnus kissed Alec. "You are my only one." He kissed him. "Only you," another kiss, "can make me feel," another kiss, "this way."

Magnus pulled Alec down on top of him. It was erratic. It was strange. They just had sex and, not five minutes later, they were coming back for more. Alec moaned. They were already naked so there were no clothes to dispose of. But Alec needed to move. He lined himself against Magnus and rocked slowly.

For Magnus, it was almost too much to process. "Alec." He hissed. "Do that again."

Alec had to agree that this did feel good. He rocked against Magnus again. Even though neither of them was penetrating the other, Alec rocked faster and faster as if he was inside Magnus. The effect was the same. Soon they were both coming again.

It was a breath-taking feeling. He climbed to the top of the bed and pulled the covers back and got underneath them. Magnus did the same. They held each other close as the fell asleep.

Alec was glad Magnus was his first. He was glad he was Magnus's first, also. You always remembered your first love, your first lay, your first everything. Alec would hope and pray that he never had to ever find someone like Magnus. The way he felt now was enough revelation to him. He would never want anyone like he wanted Magnus. He fell asleep with the love of his life only to be awoken by the yelling downstairs.

He got out and looked out the window. The fourth car in their driveway only confirmed what he already thought. His father had come home.

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><p><strong>ooooh, cliffie. <strong>

**Tell me what you think? It's my first time writing a lemon. I hope you liked it, but be honest and tell me what you really thought. **

**Leave me some love. **

** ~Cadence. **


	8. Never Let It Go

**Sorry for the wait, guys. School has been a bummer. I am working on the next chapter as you read this though. **

**Note: You're probably not going to like the next few chapters because Malec fluff is on a break. But it will return. :) Le promete que es. **

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><p>Alec was more than pissed. He had been woken out of his sleep to the sound of yelling. He heard dishes smashing downstairs. He hoped to God, Max was outside playing or something: Out of the way. Alec rushed back into his sweat pants. He was about to wake Magnus but another crash from downstairs did the honor.<p>

"What's going on?" He asked sleepily, yawning.

"Dad's home." In a second Magnus had on his sweatpants and he and Alec walked downstairs together. Alec was tense, ready to fight. Magnus didn't understand how one person could ruin such a beautiful soul. From what he could discern, Robert was the sole reason Alec had to grow up so quickly. They were down the long hall and on the second floor before long. Alec raced down the hall and into Max's room.

"Max?" he called into the obviously empty room. Magnus could see Alec beginning to panic. Where was Max? Alec left the room, leaving the door ajar. He raced to the end of the hall where he knew Max would be. And he was there. On the second step from the top lay Max balled up. He was trying his hardest not to be heard, but Alec could hear his sniffles. "Max."

Alec held out his hands to his little brother, and Max climbed into his lap. "Why is daddy yelling, Alec?" Max whimpered. "Why is daddy mad at mommy?"

In moments like this Max seemed younger, more innocent, and Alec seemed older, exposed but invulnerable. Magnus felt his chest tighten with anger. Why did good things happen to bad people and bad things to good people? He realized that his anger was like a muck fire that still burned and grew when memories fed into it. No one should ever have to feel this bad. They shouldn't have to know the world is a terrible place at such a young age. One might end up depressed, fighting a battle with self-conclusion that is always, ultimately, lost.

"Dad's not mad at mom, Max. He's mad at himself because he screwed up." Alec stood up carrying Max, who buried his face into his shirt, and went to Izzy's room. He wasn't surprised to find it locked. He knocked, maneuvering Max, easily, into one arm. "Izzy it's me."

Isabelle opened the door and pulled Alec into a bear hug. Alec knew this was to hide her tears. She never liked it when they argued which they always did when they weren't out. "Iz, look at me."

She wiped her tears on his shirt and looked up. Her eyes were bloodshot. "It's going to be okay. We are going to be fine. Okay?" He looked at her, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Okay," She sniffled. Max still hadn't unburied his face from Alec.

Isabelle grabbed Alec's free hand, and together the three siblings walked to Jace's room. Magnus leaned onto the wall and watched them. He let them be alone. This was obviously a family moment. They were stronger than they ever should have had to be. They weren't indestructible, and for this, Magnus was afraid.

Before they could knock on his door, Jace opened it and looked at them. It looked as if he had been crying also, but if anyone noticed no one said anything. Isabelle let go of Alec's hand and hugged Jace. Jace hugged her back and it was one of those rare moments when Jace was affectionate. It seemed lately those rare moments happened often: when Max was sick and Alec was in a slight comatose, and now. Twice in a month, was asking for too much, let alone twice in two weeks.

Isabelle let go after a prolonged moment. She went inside and laid horizontally on Jace's bed. Alec handed Max, who was now asleep, to Jace, who held him carefully as if at any moment he would shatter. Magnus thought that was true for all four of the Lightwood children. Alec whispered something to Jace before closing the door as Jace nodded and walked into his room to lay down Max.

Alec sighed behind the closed door. He let one lone tear fall down his face before he swatted it away and walked over to Magnus. Magnus was suddenly reminded of a quote he had run across years ago. "People cry, not because they're weak, but because they've been too strong for too long." His heart broke.

Magnus met Alec halfway and, before he could stop himself, he kissed Alec. He wanted to take away all his pain. He didn't want him to hurt. He wanted to take him away.

They broke apart when they heard another crash from downstairs. In a second, Magnus was able to get Alec to forget his situation. He suddenly felt guilty. Alec grabbed his hand as if he needed the strength. Magnus was glad he was able to be there for him.

They walked silently into what can only be described as chaos. Glass was all over the floor. The chairs at the table were strewn about. The table was flipped over completely. Alec, and Magnus would do the same later, wondered just how much he had slept through. Maryse was crouched in the corner where two counters met. She had her arms covering her face as if Robert had hit her, or was going to.

"I don't know who you think you are! You don't speak to me that way!" Robert yelled at Maryse, bending over so that he was in her face. Maryse removed her arms from her face.

"Fuck you!" She spat at him.

This spurred Robert's anger. He raised his hand to strike her, but before his hand could descend, Alec was there holding Robert's wrist tightly. Maryse shrank away, closing her eyes in apprehension. She opened them, when the blow didn't come. Magnus saw her visibly relax when she saw her son, only to tense up again. This was no situation for a child to intervene in. Then again, Alec was already an adult: legally, physically, and mentally.

"Hello, father," Alec spoke with such calm assurance, that no one in the room doubted just how pissed he was. Magnus went to Maryse and helped her to her feet as he saw that she was struggling. He let her lean into him.

"Don't touch my wife, fag!" Before Alec could react, Maryse had twisted in Magnus's hold and smacked the actual shit out his mouth. For a second no one said anything. Then Maryse broke the silence:

"I am not your wife anymore and you will not disrespect _my_ son or his boyfriend. They're both bigger men than you will ever be. Screw you. Get the fuck out of our house."

"Who do you think you're talking to?"

"_You,_ you stupid asshole, fucking asstard, looking bitchface: I hate you for what you've done to my family. Enough is enough. Just leave already."

For a second, Robert forgot that Alec was restraining him. He tried to come at Maryse, but Alec pushed him back so hard he slammed into the refrigerator across the kitchen. He fell, his face just barely missing a piece of glass. Every one saw how badly that could have ended.

Alec was the first to recover. He turned to Magnus. "Take her upstairs and help her get cleaned up. Call the cops. Our address is on her bedside table. Tell Jace he can come out. _Only Jace," _he made sure he was clear. Isabelle and Max were not to see any of this.

Magnus turned, and with Maryse's consent, he carried her. He ran her bath water and left so that she could bathe. He went to Jace's room and knocked. When he came to the door he was tense.

"Alec says you can come out, but only you." Jace nodded.

He turned back into the room and told the youngest lightwood siblings that he'd be right back. Jace descended into the chaos of the kitchen while Magnus returned to Maryse's room to make a call.

Downstairs, Jace was struck by the enormity of the situation. He was angered when it occurred to Jace that this was all at the fault of Robert, his supposed father. He saw Alec towering over Robert, who was still on the floor. Jace hoped Alec had hit him hard. He was proud of his brother. He saw the bruise on Robert's nose that went unnoticed from everyone else who had seen him. Alec packed a blow that no one could match, Jace had to admit. Not even himself.

Robert looked pathetic. He had reverted to tears when no one would show him mercy. He wasn't thinking clearly and it showed. He should have kept his composure but now he was all impulse. Jace was sickened by him. He'd always known what a jerk Robert was, but not to this extent. He never would have imagined this.

"What's up?" He acted nonchalant, like he always did: like there was not a giant elephant in the room that had made a gigantic mess.

Alec turned. He had been waiting on Jace to address him. He'd known he was there all alone, but Robert jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Hey can you get Max and Isabelle out of here? Have you guys eaten? Go out. They don't need to see this. Don't give me that look. I'm not treating you like a child. I'm treating you like an adult. You've got to help me protect them since this bastard didn't feel like it. _Please_." Jace realized how stressed Alec was. Even though Alec just had sex a few hours ago, Jace felt he needed to get laid _again_.

"Don't even think about it." This time when Alec spoke, it was directed toward his father who was trying inconspicuously to grab a knife that was on the floor. Alec turned and kicked the knife out of his reach. "I raised Max and Isabelle. I have eyes on practically every side of my head." And if Alec accidently stepped on his father's fingers, well, that was that. He reached into his father's pocket and grabbed his wallet and car keys. Turning back to Jace, he said: "Here. Knock you're self out. Go crazy. Bring Magnus, mom and I something back."

"And him?" Jace gestured to his father.

"What about him?" Alec dared his father to say something: _Do_ something. His father was so predictable, it was funny. In a moronic kind of way that is; nothing about this situation was funny.

His father had stood, being none too quiet, and ran at Alec. Both he and Jace stepped to the side and watched as Robert lost balance and fell into more glass.

"You idiot!" Alec exclaimed. Robert was now bleeding. Alec rolled him onto his back and jerked him up by his collar. "Are you insane? Think before you act, dumbass." When he said this Jace snorted. Momentarily forgotten, Alec jerked his head toward him. "Take them out the back door. They don't need to see this."

Alec damn near dragged his father to the sink and washed the blood off his hands. He found some gauze in one of the drawers and bandaged up this one really bad gash. He tied it tightly so Robert wouldn't lose blood. He didn't need Robert dying. He was planning on charging him with as many counts as he could: Battery and Assault, attempted battery and assault, vandalism, domestic violence (like eight charges of that), and douche-bagger-y.

He turned to find Jace still there. He raised an eyebrow at his younger brother. "Are you sure you can handle him?"

"Obviously."

"All right. All right, I'm leaving."

Jace ran upstairs to get Max and Izzy, but ran instead into Magnus and his mom. "Mom? That Bastard!" He saw the bruises on his mother's face and arms where he'd grabbed her.

He suddenly saw red as he ran back downstairs and attacked his father. "You asshole. I ought to kill you." Jace had seized his father by the throat, choking him. The fury in his eyes mirrored the fear in Robert's face. They were of the same caliber. Jace was as angered as Robert was afraid. Jace pulled his left fist back and delivered a bone crushing blow. Robert saw stars and crumbled into his arms, so Jace let him go and watched him fall onto the floor. He swung his foot back in order to kick him, but Alec was there pulling him away.

"Enough, Jace! I said get them out of here."

"You saw what he did to her! You saw." Jace bucked up to Alec in accusation.

"Yeah I saw what he did."

"And you're going to let him get away with it?" Jace sounded hurt.

"He's not getting away with anything. I know what I'm doing. What you need to do is get them out of here before the cops come. NOW, dammit! Now!" Alec was yelling. That was the only way to get through to Jace. He was stubborn by nature.

It took Jace a moment to walk away. He spat at his supposed father and turned away. He trudged upstairs to take Max and Izzy out. He picked up Max who was still asleep and told Izzy to come on. She had been crying again and he let her hug him. He walked out the back door, put them in their dad's car and drove away. As he was leaving the street a patrol car was turning on it from the opposite end.

Inside the house, Alec was gaining steam.

"Magnus, look out the window and see if they're gone." Magnus did so and saw that the car was in fact gone. But it was replaced by another car.

"Yeah. The cops are here." That seemed to spur on Robert. He got to his feet quickly, only to sway and nearly fall again. There was a knock on the door and Magnus opened it.

"There was a call about a disturbance, and a possible domestic violence?"

Magnus nodded and let them in. The two policemen did not seem surprised by the mess. They had seen it all before. "Who called us?"

"I did." Magnus stepped forward.

"Did you see him hit anyone?" The first cop asked. He seemed to be in charge. He was tall and stalky. He and Magnus saw eye to eye. Literally.

"I saw him raise his hand with intentions to hit Mrs. Lightwood, but Alec stopped him before he could."

"And who are you?" The second cop asked. He wasn't as tall as the first cop, but he matched that in brawn. He looked like he could hold his own in a fight. His build slightly bigger than Alec's.

"I'm Alec's boyfriend."

Neither of the cops seemed surprised by this information. It seemed even with bed hair, and sleep in his eyes, Magnus still put out an aura of gay confidence.

The first cop took all this information down. Then he went to Maryse. "Hello. I'm Officer Aldertree and this is Officer Penhallow. Can you tell us what happened?"

Maryse nodded and swallowed hard as if it was painful. "He… he came home about, " she looked at her watch, "forty minutes ago. He said he was just going to get his things and leave. I just nodded. I didn't want to argue in front of the kids. My youngest, he's only eleven. He doesn't need to see this." She gestured to the mess in her kitchen. "And my daughter Isabelle—I mean Izzy—won't ever trust a man because of this bastard. And Jace… I hoped to god he didn't turn into this bastard, and it's clear that he hasn't. And then there's Alec."

She broke off and looked at her son. He didn't turn to look at her. He intentionally kept his back turned toward her. Magnus could see the tears welling in his eyes. He wanted to hold Alec close and tell him it was okay. Maryse continued to speak:

"This was not what I intended when I started a family. I didn't want my oldest son to have to grow up so quickly. I never asked him to be there for them but he was. And they turned out okay. But I don't know about Alec. He's fought with himself for years about his sexuality. I've always known, and maybe I was wrong to let him figure it out for himself, but there's no such thing as a perfect parents. Only really good ones. And I don't even fall in that category. I screwed up big time choosing my husband over my children but it's too late to take it back.

"He's never been abusive toward me. We argued a lot, even from the beginning, but it was never this bad. He's never hit me until today. Something in him snapped. He lost his composure. That's something that only happens to Jace when he's hurt. Robert never loses composure even when I'm bitching. He's a selfish bastard who isn't stingy with his words, but actually hitting me is always where he drew the line.

"I told him it would be best if the kids didn't see him. Jace and Alec would be angry, Isabelle would ignore him. Max would just get confused in the mix. He would cry. I didn't want to put them through more than they've already been through. They're just kids. I mean Alec's a legal adult now, but he's still _my_ _son_. None of them should have to see their father at his worst. He took it the wrong way. I wasn't trying to be snappy. I just didn't want the trouble. He should have stayed gone. He should've walked away. I shouldn't have spurred his anger on. But I couldn't stop. Everything he said made me want to humiliate him more. I wanted him gone. But he was stalling he wasn't planning on going anywhere.

"We started off talking but it escalated into yelling. He smacked me. I was so surprised that he'd done such a thing, I couldn't think clearly. I grabbed the thing closest to me and threw it at him. I was really angry after I'd done that. It was Alec's birthday cake. I think with all that's been going on, we forgot about it. He turns nineteen tomorrow, you know. And I was hoping to surprise him with it tomorrow morning. I owe him so much. And then this bastard decided to come and ruin everything. And I feel so dumb for letting him. I let him ruin everything. Everything I ever wanted went down the toilet when I fell in love with this bastard. You know," she addressed officer Penhallow, who had crouched in order to hand her a tissue. "He didn't even love me back. I loved him so badly it used to hurt and he didn't even reciprocate the feelings. I was just a rebound. But there was no way I was going to raise a child by myself. It ended up not raising any one of my kids.

"There's no doubt about it, all our hopes and dreams went down the toilet when I proposed to him. Stupid bastard didn't even have the guts to tell me he didn't love me. I wouldn't have married him. I would have sewed his ass for child support, but I wouldn't have married him. I would have raised the shit out of my kids. Found me another man who would take care of me and dated him. Then, if he ever proposed I would have said yes. I never would've doubted myself as much as I did with him. My kids would have been happy. Their lives would have been different. Max wouldn't have abandonment issues. Izzy would actually settle instead of one night stands that leave her empty. Jace wouldn't be so afraid to trust. And Alec might have found happiness sooner."

She dissolved into tears. Silently crying, she didn't realize Alec had come to her. He held her. She cried on his shoulder saying she was sorry. He shushed her saying he didn't blame her and he realized that he truly didn't blame her. Even the best fell down sometimes. That was something he would always understand.

He saw movement behind him but he cried out too late. "Watch out Magnus!"

He was too late. His father had made his way to the door where Magnus was standing and had slashed him with a shard of glass. Magnus stumbled from the blow and bumped his head on the door, instantly blocking his escape. Maybe Robert had never meant for anyone to get hurt. Maybe he was actually crazy. Alec didn't know. But he did know that Robert was going to be locked away for a long time because now the officers had evidence of his offense.

Alec disentangled himself from his mother and went to Magnus who had crumbled into a seated position. The officers wrestled Robert to the ground and handcuffed him. They said they had all they needed to file a formal report and that Alec could drive Magnus to the hospital.

They left.

"Shit Magnus. Look at me. Are you alright?" Alec knew it was a feudal question, but he needed Magnus to talk to him. There was a long cut that shaped his face from his left temple to his cheekbone. "Can you focus you're eyes?" He held his hand out in Magnus' face and moved it from side to side. "Shit," He said when Magnus couldn't follow him.

"How bad is it?" Magnus looked into Alec's eyes, daring him to lie. His eyes were slits and he looked like he might be fading into unconsciousness.

"Please don't make me answer that. _Please_. Come on. We have to… um… go. We have to get you to a… a, what's it called? ... A hospital. Come on." He helped Magnus up, who winced at the pain in his head. "Come on Mom."

"What about the others? Someone has to be here when they come back."

"I'll call Jace. I'm not leaving you here alone."

Alec put Magnus over his shoulder. He was hoping Magnus would at least protest but he didn't even do that. Alec was panicking. Nothing in his life was ever perfect. He was starting to believe it would never be.

He sat Magnus in the backseat and put his seatbelt on for him. Magnus tried to do it himself but his movements were delayed and weak. Alec felt his heart clench. "I got it Magnus."

He slammed the door and ran to the front sit. His mom was already situated. He sped off. Speed Limit signs weren't even in his peripheral.

He didn't realize his reckless driving until his mother said something about it. "I'm not driving recklessly."

"You just ran a stop sign. That's more dangerous than running a red light because people have the right away. They don't miss a beat when there's no light saying they have to stop. It'd be tragic if we got pulled over and you couldn't get Magnus there fast enough."

Alec saw reason and slowed up a bit. It was luck too, because just as he hit the speed limit, he passed a cop car. He breathed a sigh of relief that at least someone could see sense when there was none.

He decided he should call Jace. He was number three on his speed dial after Isabelle and Magnus. He handed the phone to Maryse after turning on the speaker.

"Hello?"

"Jace. Yeah, where are you?"

"We're at Clary's. Why? What's up?"

"Is Jocelyn there by any chance?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Um, Good. Let me speak to her."

"What the fuck is going on?"

"I'll tell you after I get off the phone with her. Now give her the goddamned phone."

"Whatever."

"Mom, you have to tell her something. Ask can they spend the night. Anything."

Alec could see the Hospital sign in front of them. It was right there. They were almost there. He looked in the rear view mirror to check on Magnus.

He was still conscious, but barely. His eyes were shifty. But he was there. And that was all that really mattered to Alec at that point.

"Hello Jocelyn. This is Maryse."

"Hi Maryse."

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure what is it."

"My husband and I were in a fight, and the house is in no condition for the kids to see. Can they stay the night, and I'll come get them tomorrow?"

"Of course they can. I hope everything ends up okay."

"Thank you so much. I'll see you tomorrow. May I speak to Jace again?"

"Yes. No problem."

"Hello."

Maryse gestured to Alec when she heard Jace's voice.

"Yeah." Alec answered stiffly. They were turning into the hospital parking lot.

"What's going on?"

"Listen. The house is a mess. I'm taking mom and Magnus to the hospital to get their bruises checked out. We won't be back until late, so you and Izzy and Max are staying over at Clary's."

"What happened to Magnus?"

"You know what's really sickening about people who go on idiotic rampages? They always go for the innocent ones: the people who have nothing to do with anything. They're always hurt. Always. I should've done a lot of things. I should have confronted them before it got this far. But I didn't." Alec spoke through clenched teeth. "And someone always gets hurt. I'll call you later."

"But, Alec you didn't tell me…"

Alec reached over and ended the call. If he didn't tell Jace anything it was for a reason. He parked the car and got out. He went to the back door to get Magnus to find him leaning to the side.

"Magnus? Magnus, wake up." He shook him. "Magnus. Oh shit, mom. He won't wake up." Alec was in full panic mode. He saw that Magnus was breathing, but somehow that wasn't enough. He needed Magnus to be talking, smiling: comforting him in his misfortune. Nothing in his life ever went as it should.

"Well pick him up already. Stop panicking."

"Yeah. Stop panicking." Alec took a couple deep breaths before taking Magnus out of the car. "Can you get his wallet out of the glove?"

Alec carried Magnus into the emergency room and walked up to the counter. "Can you help me please? He needs medical attention, like now. He hit his head, and he's bleeding pretty badly. Can you get me a doctor?"

"I'm sorry sir, you'll have to wait like everyone else." The nurse gestured to the full waiting room. Alec couldn't have cared less about all those people. They were mostly families waiting to hear news. No one in the room was actually hurt. This nurse was solely practicing her power over a common person.

"Listen here Missy." Maryse read the name off the nurse's nametag. "My name is Maryse Lightwood. I'm your boss's boss's boss. If you don't get me a doctor in the next five seconds, you'll all be looking for a job. So why don't you pick up that phone and page a doctor and stop bull-shitting me."

The nurse had turned pale, doing exactly what she was told. In less than a minute a doctor was there with four orderlies and one of those beds that have wheels. "I'm sorry for the wait."

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><p><strong>Are the long chapters too choppy? Do I need to separate them? <strong>

**Review and let me know :) **

**Chau, **

**Cadence.**


	9. Fate Doesn't Care About Plans

**Okay, first. Sorry for the three month long Hiatus. I know, I know. I'm in school and exams are in a week. - Beautiful Scenario Right? **

**Anyways, here you go. It's a filler chapter, of course. But a plot chapter will be up soon. Sorry, in advance, for the choppiness. It's rough.**

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><p>Alec lay there with Magnus in his arms. Everything was taken away and Magnus had been transferred to a recovery room. He should have been awake an hour ago. But he wasn't.<p>

Alec stared at the bare whiteness of the room. He never understood how white was pure. To him, it was a bringer of sadness and death: never a happy thing. He looked at the white rose at the foot of Magnus' bed. They were an omen for passing. Though he knew they were of good intent, he wanted to throw them away. He couldn't, of course. The flowers were for Magnus, not himself; and, therefore, not in his power to dispose of.

Alec decided to leave the topic. It was getting him nowhere. But his thoughts never got him anywhere anyways. Why did he bother? It seemed morbid was the overall theme of his thoughts as Magnus lay beside him, asleep still. He began thinking about why bad things—in the two months, not even counting his life—had happened to him. What did he do? He began to compose a list of all the wrongs he had done: starting when he was too young to even comprehend what he was doing.

When he was four, he lied and told his mom he didn't eat the cookies. When he was six, he stole Izzy's doll and played with it for a week before returning it. When he was nine, he hit a kid because they were being mean. When he was twelve, he told a teacher to shut up under his breath. When he was fourteen he started cursing like a sailor and hasn't stopped since. He had a cover girl in tenth grade, except no one even knew they were dating and, after a week, he broke things off because they got awkward. Did he need to go any further?

Junior year he met Magnus and it was clear that there was no turning back. He was who he was.

When you're a little kid, the adults in your life always ask you what you want to be when you grow up. You always answer back with some absurd answer. And then there is the select few that actually know where they want to go and who they want to be. Alec was never one of those kids. He was never sure of anything. He was put in a place where security was a sure thing and he was the most insecure person possible. Because when it all sizzles down, you are the person you were meant to be living a life you didn't ask for.

The truth of the matter was that fate doesn't care about plans. It never has and never will. His mother never intended on being the travesty that she was. She didn't plan on being pregnant before she had settled down. She was forced into the marriage just as much as Robert was. Maybe Karma was repaying him for making his parents so unhappy. He was a mistake after all, wasn't he? He was nothing but a mistake.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Until then Alec had been unaware of Magnus. He was usually aware of his surroundings. He would have noticed the change in Magnus' breathing. But his mind was occupied with thought: thoughts he'd rather keep to himself.

"They're not worth sharing."

"I know they're not, that's why I offered you a penny in return for them. I know your thoughts aren't worth anything," Magnus deadpanned. Being asleep for three days did nothing for his sarcastic attitude.

"Love you, too, Magnus."

"Aw. Back to the question: where were you just now?" Alec shifted in the small hospital bed so that he and Magnus were level.

"Nowhere. I was just thinking."

"About...?"

"What I did to deserve all this. What did I do?"

"Alec, you've got to get this into your head. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. We've all been through the mill and it never gets better. You just learn to deal. It's like that song: even the best fall down sometimes. You and I know that well. How many times have we, in the past six months, hurt each other without intending to? Did we deserve it? No, of course we didn't. But that's what we got. How many times has shit been thrown at you, Alec? How many times will you go through the mill before you realize it's a never ending labyrinth of life?"

"I'm not running fast enough. I'm not learning to deal. The world is a terrible place and I can't take it. I know this. But maybe it's meant to be this way. Maybe I'm meant to change it."

"Alec, you're a dreamer. That's how you're supposed to think. But I've got to be realistic. I'm a survivor. It's what I do. It's why I'm so good at coping. I take all the shit thrown at me in stride. Dammit. I wrote the book on taking shit from everybody and they momma."

"Maybe that's why I love you so damn much. In a world where all that's left is to dream, you can keep your feet on the ground. You're my better half, my rock. That's why you have to get better."

"I'm awake aren't I?"

"Yeah, I'm glad you are. I was afraid my head would explode form all the things I've been thinking."

"Always here to ease your mind… in more ways than one:" Magnus surged up and stole Alec's breath away. By the sheer force of it, it was clear where Magnus wanted to go. And Alec was willing. But let's be real. Magnus just woke up from a coma. Alec was not about to put him back into a catatonic state. No matter how satisfying the thought was, Alec was not about to lose Magnus to another elongated nap.

"Magnus, wait." He gasped as Magnus released his hold on Alec's lips and began nibbling on Alec's neck. "Wait."

"What is it?" For a second, Magnus was afraid he had pushed Alec too far. But he and Alec had already gone the distance, what was Alec afraid of?

"No, it's not that." Alec read Magnus' face, seeing his doubt. "It's just that I don't want to concuss you."

Magnus laughed, kissing Alec once more on his cheek. "If that's what you're worried about, darling, then just let me top." Alec visibly tensed. He'd been through a lot with Magnus. Magnus had even seen him cry. But this was an entirely different type of vulnerability. A state he wasn't sure he'd ever be ready to show. He decided to change the topic, coolly, not wanting to go there just yet.

"Do you really want to… in a hospital room? Where nurses can walk in at any possible moment?"

"You didn't seem to mind when you thought you'd be topping. Alec, if you don't want to bottom that's okay. Just say so."

"No, it's not that. I just hoped it'd be different."

Magnus laughed and pressed his lips into Alec's throat. "I love that you're hopelessly romantic. It keeps things interesting. I'll wait. But remember, _darling _that you owe me."

Alec felt a jolt from below as Magnus seduced him. He rubbed into Magnus, searching for some type of friction or relief: _anything _to take away his hard on. Instead it was enticing. The small amount of friction only left him wanting more.

"_Please_."

"No, no, Alec. If I have to wait, then you do, too." Magnus rolled his hips into Alec, teasing him into submission. Alec moaned. "Is little Alec a little impatient?" Magnus knew his teasing was unfair Alec. It was just so hard not to. Alec made it so easy.

"It's been hard for me, you know? You've spent the last three days asleep. I've been to school, bored as fuck, and you've been resting. You think I'm not ready to jump your bones? Hell, I was ready after the last time…" Alec suddenly stopped his rant realizing what he was saying. His old characteristic blush had made its first appearance in a long while. "Damn, do you know what you do to me?"

"Apparently a lot, if I got you to say that. I never knew you could talk so _dirty_, Alec."

"Shut up." He blushed deeper. Magnus laughed at his discomfort.

"If it's of any conciliation, I'm as hot and bothered as you are. It's all the more reason to go there." Magnus leaned in to kiss Alec, but Alec pulled away at the last second.

"I'm not changing my mind Magnus; I need to know that you are well."

"I'm up and talking." Alec shook his head.

"Not good enough. I want you back home."

"I have a feeling my health isn't the only motive you have."

"Of course, not. But you have to get the o-k from the doctor before we do anything… sexual."

"Can you kiss me?" Alec laughed, obliging to Magnus' demand. This kiss wasn't hot and hungry. It was peaceful, relaxing, understand.

When they broke away, Alec relaxed into Magnus' chest. This was his only console. Knowing that Magnus was okay made things better for him. He couldn't lose Magnus. Surely he'd be lost afterwards. He'd have to hold on for his siblings, but there would no longer be an Alexander G. Lightwood. There would only be the world around him, the time passing.

"I love you Magnus Bane." Magnus looked taken aback by Alec's sudden mood change. It seemed he wasn't able to control where his mind went.

"I love you, too, Alec." He wrapped his arms tightly around Alec. "And I will always hold you down."

"Always," Alec whispered.

That's how Maryse found them. She'd come to check up on Magnus, and found them asleep in each other's arms. She had never witnessed a love like there's before. She was happy her son had found someone to pull him out and tie him down. If there was someone any of her kids needed, it was someone to hold them down.

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><p><strong>So, um, yeah. That's that. Tell me what you thought of it and review like the good little readers that you are. <strong>

**Chau, Cadence. **


	10. Time To Heal

**Okay. So it's been forever, but I promised I'd upload something before I went out of town, so here you go. Hope you guys love reading it as much as I loved writing it. **

**This entire fic is un-beta'd so tell me how I've been doing with the grammar. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the mortal instruments or One Less Reason's TIME TO HEAL. **

**Please check out this song: Time to Heal (Also known as I'm Not Happy For You) by One Less Reason. Beautiful Song. **

**Here we go. **

**Subtitled:Time To Heal.**

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><p>Alec wished he could say his life went back to normal after all of this. But he would be lying. He could tell his mom was trying, and that she was sorry. But that wasn't enough. His family had been through the ringer enough times to know when someone was bull-shitting themselves. His mom was one of those people. But she was trying. He gave her that. But he only gave credit where credit was due and that was all she got. There was no being let off easy because his father was sociopath. There was no pity. He'd been through enough. Iz and Jace had been through enough. Max had seen enough.<p>

The saddest part, though, was that Jace and Max easily forgave her. You can blame it on Max's youth and Jace's need to be a part of a family, but the truth flows deeper. Max and Jace actually understood their mother's pain. They saw that she was desperate in all her decisions and they forgave her because she was human. And humans made mistakes, didn't they? But when do you stop forgiving people for being human and give up on them completely? This was the question Alec and Izzy asked themselves every waking morning they smelled food being cooked or every night they pretended to be asleep as their mother sang to them. When do you stop forgiving and start forgetting?

Izzy decided after a month that you don't ever stop forgiving people for their mundane qualities. You never give up hope in your family and you don't turn your back on them no matter how big they fucked up. Izzy knew she wouldn't want to be shunned eighteen years from now because of decisions she made now. She knew she screwed up. That didn't change the fact that she was human and she made mistakes. She forgave her mom. Besides, she's sixteen. She needs a mom now more than ever.

Of course it was hardest on Alec. He was the oldest, nineteen now. In four months he would be tackling college. He was an adult. He had no time to dwell on things that happened to him up until now. He had no reason to hold grudges, and yet, he couldn't let go. Everyone saw that he was struggling. He always took his dinner to his room and sometimes he didn't even eat. He stayed out as late as he could and came home minutes before curfew. He spent most of his time in solitude. They knew this because Magnus called more than a few times looking for Alec. He turned his phone off. Sometimes he would wonder around their house and disappear for hours. To say he was taking it the hardest would be an understatement. He just wanted to be alone. He felt betrayed by his siblings. They welcomed her be he saw his mother as the enemy. He saw his parents as the enemy. But his father was institutionalized and his mother stayed, but she was just as guilty. He knew—all too well—how a thousand enemies outside the house were better than one within.

Alec decided to come home for dinner once, and wished he hadn't. He was only going to take his food to his room and eat in solitude. He liked being alone these days. But it seemed his mother had had enough. She was not going to be disrespected any longer. But that's only because that's how she saw it. Alec was intentionally being disrespectful. He just couldn't—and shouldn't have had to—deal. He's done it for far too long.

He saw that his mother had cooked all his favorites. Izzy must have clued her in. He wasn't going to let her off that easily. So she fixed grilled salmon and basmati rice with red pepper chutney. She was going to have to show a little more commitment than cooking his favorite foods.

He fixed his plate and headed out of the kitchen. "Alexander—I mean Alec. Wouldn't you like to join us?"

"No thanks." He continued out, his mother following.

"I don't see why not."

"Because I don't want to."

"Alexander, please. I'm trying."

"Obviously not hard enough." Maryse didn't notice her slight faux pas, but to everyone else it was obvious. "You know what. Don't worry about it. I'll just go out." Alec sat the plate on a side table. He grabbed his coat off the hook along with his keys.

"Where are you going?"

"Out." His voice was tight. He didn't want to say anything because he might yell and that would be too much on his family. He didn't want to be a problem, but he was done with being complaisant.

"Alec, you will not walk out that door. You will stay and talk."

"No I won't." He twisted the knob, opening it.

"Alec. If you walk out that door, you can't come back. I'm trying to rebuild this family and you're standing in the way." Alec faltered. He was standing in the way? How did he end up on the other side of the fence? He thought just pushing it aside was how things went. He didn't want to be just another reason his family was fucked up. But who did she think she was? Things finally fall all the way apart and she wants to be mom of the year. That's not how things went, he knew that much.

He closed the door and stepped away looking at it. There was an audible sigh from his family as they heard the lock slide home. He turned to his mother. "Don't think I'm staying because you're making me. I'm staying because I promised myself that I wouldn't abandon them. That it was okay that you guys left, because I was never going to leave them. Why do you think I'm staying home for college really? I got accepted to Caltech, but that was too far away. There was no way I would ever trust them with you. Not after what I've done for them and what you've done to them."

"Alex- that's not fair."

"Life's not fair, mom. You made sure I learned that lesson."

Alec walked past his mother and up to his second room. Behind him, his family didn't know how to react. This was news to them all. Izzy was aware of all the sacrifices Alec had made for them, but she never expected him to sacrifice his future for their well-being.

Jace felt Alec's words cut him to the bone. He wished he could be a little more like Alec: a little more selfless and a little less selfish. But he also wished Alec was a little more like him: a little more selfish and a little less selfless. Jace, because his childhood before the Lightwoods was so different, grew up thinking that if he wanted anything he'd have to take it. And it was time Alec learned the same. He was being used. He needed to let it go. Sometimes people hurt you. You learn to forgive them.

Max didn't really understand what was wrong. But he knew one thing. There was someone he could call to make Alec feel better. He remembered what Magnus told him over the phone once when he was looking for Alec. He told him to call whenever he needed help. He told Max to call especially when Alec was upset because Alec wouldn't ask on his own. Max knew this was one of those occasions when Alec needed Magnus but wouldn't ask. Even his ten year old brain could fathom that.

Maryse pretended Alec's words hadn't burned as much as they had. Sooner or later she would have to be real with herself. She could get her younger kids back, but Alec was lost to her completely. She would never have her baby boy again, the one she had relied the most. Somewhere along the line he stopped being Alexander and became Alec and there was no coming back. It was hard.

She went back to the kitchen and continued eating. Her children sat at the table shooting glances at each other. Max had returned from whatever he was doing and ate his food. He pretended to be like the angel he was. His thoughts were elsewhere.

When Maryse heard the doorbell ring, she was taken aback. As if this night could get any worse. Who could possibly be visiting in the night? Max watched her, grinning. He knew who was at the door. Jace and Izzy were a little suspicious of their little brother. They listened as Maryse told Magnus Alec couldn't have company.

Max jumped down from the table and ran to Magnus. "Magnus I knew you'd come."

"Max, you called him?"

"Of course I did."

"Why?"

"Because Alec needs him, but he's being a douche about it."

"Alec's going to get you kiddo. He doesn't like that language."

Max stuck his tongue out at Magnus. Magnus reached down and ruffled Max's hair. "Where is he?"

"In his room." Magnus nodded.

"His second one?"

"You've been in there? No fair. Alec never lets anyone in there."

"Max focus. Second room?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Thanks, bud." Magnus walked passed Max and Maryse and went upstairs.

"Uh, Magnus?"

"Yes?"

"Can you keep it PG?"

Normally Magnus would have laughed, but instead he just nodded. "Sure." He sounded awkward, but he didn't know what to call her. Ms. Lightwood? No. He had no idea what her maiden name was.

He continued up the stairs until he found Alec's second room. He knocked.

"Go away."

"I don't want to." Magnus could tell Alec was floored by his voice because he hesitated.

"Fine. You can come in."

Magnus twisted the knob and walked in. He closed the door behind him. Then he thought twice and locked it. He turned back to Alec. He was laying in the dark staring at the stars on the ceiling. Magnus hadn't noticed before—probably because it was the middle of the day last time he was here—that some of the stars were painted in neon colors. They glowed in an out this world shine. It was shockingly vibrant.

"Hey." He didn't know why, but when he spoke his voice was a gruff and broken whisper.

"Hey." Alec still hadn't looked at him. Magnus tried not to feel hurt by it, but it was hard. He'd done nothing wrong and yet Alec had distanced them like Magnus had cheated. It seemed Alec's thoughts were along the same path as Magnus' were because he spoke again. "Come lay down beside me. No need to stand awkwardly at the door." Magnus looked up at Alec to find him smirking. He returned the sly grin and went to lie on the far side of the bed.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around in a while."

"It's okay. You've been going through some things."

"That doesn't excuse me. You're my boyfriend and I haven't talked to you in almost a month."

"Alec, you've called me every night since I got out of the hospital."

"Yeah and I talked for five minutes then found an excuse to hang up." He took a breath to keep calm. "Okay, let me rephrase that. I haven't kissed you in a month. I haven't been in the same room with you—school notwithstanding—and I haven't been acting like a boyfriend should."

"It doesn't matter. I'm here now. We can talk now. Anything. Whatever you want to talk about, shoot. What do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing heavy."

"Okay."

"What's your favorite color?"

"Weird place to start."

"It's even weirder that I don't already know."

"Well, you said yourself that you haven't been very boyfriend-like."

"It's never too late change things like that." Alec rolled over and faced Magnus for the first time since he came. Magnus did the same.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I think you know." Magnus leaned down and captured Alec's lips. He wondered why he hadn't come over sooner. He was probably just giving Alec some space and time to figure out whatever it is that he needed to figure out.

Alec slowed their pace. He didn't want things to end too quickly. He detached his lips from Magnus' and began kissing his neck. He worked the buttons on Magnus shirt until it sagged on his shoulders and fell away from his chest. He kissed his way down.

"Blue," Magnus said suddenly. Alec looked into his cat eyes questioningly. "It's my favorite color: bottle blue. Like your eyes are when you're happy. Because when you're happy I'm happy."

Magnus sat up so that he and Alec were face to face inches from kissing. "And I won't stop until I see that exact color, bottle blue, looking back at me. Until then, you and I will always be unfinished business. Until then, I will never be satisfied."

Alec gasped. "Magnus." He leaned forward, capturing Magnus' lips for a second. And then two. He pulled back. "Remember our last conversation before you checked out of the hospital?"

Magnus seemed to be thinking hard. And then Alec knew he understood because his eyes lit up as if he had an idea. "Are you sure?"

Alec nodded.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

"Do you have anything?"

"Yeah." Alec reached into the bottom drawer of the nightstand beside his bed. He pulled back a bottle of lube. Flavorless but effective.

Magnus took the bottle from him and laced their fingers together.

"I love you Alec. You know that, right."

Alec nodded. Even in the dark, he could see Magnus' eyes shine.

"And I'd never intentionally hurt you. And you can talk to me. That's where the friend part of boyfriend comes in. I'm first and foremost, your friend. All the rest comes later."

Alec nodded.

"I need you to talk to me. Next time things go haywire, you can't just shut down and not talk to me. Okay? You have to be honest with me."

"I know Magnus."

"Okay."

Magnus leaned in and kissed Alec chastely. They he pulled Alec's shirt off. It was his turn to show Alec what it was like to be loved to. He was going to show him what it really felt like being on the receiving end of making love.

He kissed his way down to Alec's sweatpants pulling them gently off as he made his way down. "Please…" He heard Alec whisper. Magnus complied.

He took Alec into his mouth and showed him what he had missed last time and every time before when they had been intimate. Sure, they'd only had sex once. But they've done other things.

Alec writhed under Magnus' ministrations. He was never one to express himself in words, but Magnus worked them out of him. Alec tugged on Magnus' hair.

"It feels so good, Magnus, but we need to stop."

"What's wrong?" Magnus looked at Alec, almost frightened it hadn't been enough for Alec.

"Nothing. We just don't want to end this too soon."

Magnus smiled back at Alec and rose to kiss him. While they were kissing, Magnus' hands searched and found the bottle of lubricant. Still connected to Alec at the mouth, Magnus sleeked his finger with the gel and placed his hand between Alec's legs. He waited until Alec had let go and was fully aware of what he was about to do before he started.

"Ready?"

Alec nodded. Magnus went slowly. He watched Alec's face for his discomfort level and when he was sure he could take it, Magnus added another finger. He made sure to stretch Alec as far as his muscles would allow. He was wielding a large piece of equipment. He was the same size as Alec if not a bit thicker. But he knew Alec wouldn't be as receiving as Magnus was.

When Alec seemed ready, Magnus coated himself. "Okay baby. Look at me." Alec looked at Magnus, positioned between his legs. "Ready?" Alec nodded. "Okay, baby."

Magnus wrapped Alec's legs around his hips and pushed in slowly. He was worried so much about Alec he forgot about how it would feel for himself. This was also his first time. Immediately he wanted to pull out and slam back in, but Alec wouldn't reciprocate that well. He kept things slow until Alec adjusted.

Alec began meeting Magnus' thrusts. He grabbed his shoulders and managed to speak. "Faster, please."

Magnus was quick to please. He pushed in quicker, harder and deeper, waiting to hear Alec scream out in pure ecstasy. Then he was rewarded as Alec screamed out his name. "Right there, Magnus." Magnus complied and hit Alec's sweet spot again and again until Alec was trembling underneath. His legs cast aside because he was no longer able to hold them up. He shivered as Alec bit his collarbone. Magnus could see that Alec was far off, but neither was he. He grasped Alec's aching erection and pulled him along. It was soon before they were both shooting off.

Magnus slowly withdrew and rolled over to lie beside Alec. "That was…"

"Amazing." Alec finished for him. He pulled the covers over them as the sweat cooled on their bodies chilling them. Their breath was heavy and intermingling.

"I love you Magnus Bane."

"I love you too Alec."

Alec snuggled into Magnus, attempting to get comfortable.

"Alec wait. You haven't told me what your favorite color is."

Alec opened his eyes looking at Magnus' green ones. "Guess," he challenged Magnus?

"Jade. Like my eyes?"

"Nope." Magnus looked slightly saddened.

"Tell me."

"Purple." If Alec hadn't said it so straight-faced, Magnus might have thought he was joking.

"Purple? Why?"

"Because the first day I met you, you walked into the classroom and introduced yourself. And when the teacher said you could sit anywhere, you sat down right next to me and asked me what my name was. And I could see your hair was dark and sleek, but you had a streak of dark purple. And I wanted to touch it to see if it was as soft as it looked. And I knew, then, that I was a goner. I knew you had me. I just had to make sure you were mine and no one else's. Do you remember the night we first kissed? You were wearing a light blue shirt and leather pants but your eye shadow was midnight ebony purple. I know because Izzy had the same shade. And that night before I found out about my dad, I went to the club. The shirt I was wearing was purple. And Izzy made me wear that same shade of make-up."

"Alec, why are you so romantic."

"I'm serious. If I didn't like the color, it'd just be haunting me. We've reached and understanding. Every time I need some good luck, that color shows up."

"You don't actually believe in luck do you?"

"Of course not."

Alec settled in beside Magnus and was soon asleep. But Magnus stayed awake. He worried about Alec. He didn't really believe in much. He was afraid to trust. He's been broken so many times and now he's almost afraid to recover. He was everything Magnus wasn't—the good and the bad—and that was enough to frighten Magnus. How was he ever going to get Alec to stand up for himself? Sure he could hold his own in a fight, but what about in the verbal and mental arguments. What about where it really counted? If he didn't stand up for anything he'd fall for everything: every old trick in the book, every lie in the sea, everything. Magnus was determined not to let that happen.

He was going to start by getting Alec to go to Caltech. He was going to UCLA they'd be so close. And he knew all Alec really needed was a little push to get him going. All he needed was a little encouragement. All he needed was a little love to stand on.

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><p><em><strong>So what did you think? Good? Yes? No? Maybe? <strong>_

_**I'm no good with lemons? Tell me in a review! **_

_**I have one more chapter and maybe an epilogue. **_

_**Chau, Cadence. **_


	11. I Love The Way He Said LA

_**AN: Sorry for the long wait. It's been a busy life. So without further ado, the final chapter of Favorite Color. **_

_**Chapter songs:**_

_**Wonderwall by Oasis  
>Stars and Boulevards by Augustana (solely because I like the song. Not because it has anything to do with this chapter… maybe a little.)<br>Look After You by The Fray  
>And of course, something by One Less Reason: A Day To Be Alone. <strong>_

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><p>When he awoke the next morning, the sun was rising. He attempts to roll over, but finds he can't due to the strong pair of arms wrapped around his waist. He rolls over so that he's facing Magnus. He wasn't expecting to find him awake.<p>

"Hey."

"Hey."

They lie there in silence. Neither knows where to start. Alec just needs to talk and be heard. He needs someone to listen, but he doesn't know what he needs to say. He twirls his fingers into Magnus' hair and leans in to kiss him.

"I…" Alec starts to say something but doesn't know where he's going.

"What is it?" Magnus asks, concerned as always.

"I don't know, I just… Angel, I don't know."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. Nothing is 'okay'. Not now. Not anymore."

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything. I just… I need you to listen."

Magnus nods.

"It's just that I used to have my entire life planned out. I always knew how my story was going to end. And then you happened. And then Max got sick. And then mom came home, but dad decided we weren't good enough and who's he kidding. He's not good enough for us. I know that and it still hurts. And I don't know where I stand anymore. I don't like not knowing. It's normal: to not know everything. But it doesn't mean I have to like it. Why can't things work out? I mean… Can't I just catch a break?"

Alec rolls onto his side, making it easier to look into Magnus' eyes. While he had been talking, Magnus began rubbing Alec's arm soothingly.

Alec continued: "I want to go away with you. I do. But I just can't leave them behind. I promised I would let nothing bad happen to them and I feel like I've already failed them. I can't leave. I can't."

Alec snuggled into Magnus' touch, but had nothing left to say. Surprisingly, he kept his tears at bay. He would not cry. Magnus began where Alec left off: "You can. You're not leaving your siblings in bad hands. I promise. I wouldn't lie to you, would I? Give your mother the benefit of the doubt. Just because you didn't get the luxury of a mom doesn't mean your siblings shouldn't either. And right now you're standing in the way. I know," Magnus felt Alec stiffen with his words. "I know this is not what you intended. But that is how the pieces have fallen. Alec. Leave. Come away with me. Love me. Take care of me. I need you. Your siblings will be fine. I promise. And if they need you, they'll call. Don't be a helicopter mom-slash-brother. Let them breathe. Besides, a thousand miles isn't so far. And when they grow up they'll be out of here anyways. Come away with me. Take something for yourself. Stop being so damned selfless. It's never going to make you happy. It's never going to take you away from here. Not like I will. Not if you don't love me the way I love you or believe me when I say that some sun would be good for you."

"God, Magnus. I want to go away with you. I do. But I can't leave all of this behind. I can't…"

"You can."

"No."

"Alec, listen to me. You will never get out of here if you don't leave now. Your siblings are in good hands. I trust your mother. More importantly they trust her. You have got to let them make their own decisions. And you've got to decide for yourself. It's you or them. And they're fine. They'll be okay. What about you, Alexander?"

"Letting go; It's easier said than done. And I know it's time to let go, but I just can't. I feel selfish choosing myself over my siblings. I'm not a selfish person. I won't walk away for myself."

"Then choose me. Love me. I'll love you back. I'll take care of you in return. Sure, I'm in your best interest, but you are also in mine. I'd be good for you and you'd be good for me, too. And you're not choosing one over the other. You just need a break. Tell me I'm not wrong."

"You're not wrong."

"Damn straight, I'm not."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"So you'll come to California with me?"

"…Yes."

"Great. Now that that's covered, let's go back to sleep. It's too early to function."

"Okay."

Magnus rolled over and Alec wrapped his arms around him. But Alec did not sleep. Within minutes Magnus was snoring lightly, his breath even; however, Alec could not escape this world too easily. He lay awake thinking of how his life had turned out so differently than how he pictured it. He would eventually have to accept the fact that things were never going to go his way. But when he'd stop expecting things to go one way, he'd stop being hurt when they didn't. It just took him awhile to figure it out.

After an hour, it became obvious that he wasn't going to sleep. He decided to get up and walk around or he would surely go insane. He went to the second floor of his house intending to take a shower, when he heard a familiar sniffling. It was his mother of course, crying at their new kitchen table. She looked broken, much so the way he found her weeks before. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were puffy. Her brown eyes looked dull: they no longer shined the way they did when she was young. She had been through so much in the past twenty years. She had aged long before her years.

Alec came and sat at the table beside her. "Hey," he said because there was nothing else he really could say.

"Hi," she said as she wiped the tears from her face. Her voice was thick with lament. They sat there as Maryse tried to get herself together. "I'm really sorry I wasn't around when you were growing up," she said when she could finally talk.

"It's… fine. I guess."

"It's not though. I really thought I was doing the right thing and I ended up screwing things up even worse."

"The only that matters is that you thought you were doing what was right."

"That's not the only thing that matters and you know it. You don't believe that. I know you don't because I don't. I won't accept you believing that you got what you deserved. You didn't. You deserve so much more than what I gave you. And I'm so sorry. Angel, I'm so sorry."

Alec was taken aback. It had been awhile since his mother had called him Angel. Only when he was extremely pissed was he ever called Angel. Only when she was around but still seemed to have no time for him did he get pissed at any rate. He just needed a little attention now and then to get himself by.

"It's… I'll be fine. I'm okay."

"You're not. You're angry. You have every right to be."

Alec reached over and touched his mother's shoulder. "I'm not angry. Not anymore, at least."

Maryse looked at him and nodded. "What changed?"

"I don't know. I slept on it."

"You've had a few weeks to sleep."

"I haven't been sleeping well for the past few months."

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

"But you slept well last night?"

"… Yes."

"Does Magnus treat you right?"

"Yes. Why? Do you think he's the reason I've changed my mind."

"I do."

Alec nodded. "He wants me to come to California with him."

"Then go."

"Should I?"

"Of course."

"And you'll stick around for them?"

"Of course."

"Are you sure?"

"More than I've ever been."

"Okay."

They continued sitting at the kitchen table silently because there was simply no need to speak. They both thought of how differently their lives turned out to be. There was no escaping the ever-constant current of change. They sat there as the sun ascending the sky and mid-morning was upon them in mere minutes that seemed like hours which stretched on for days.

"Will you and I ever be okay?" His mother finally asked.

"I don't know. I hope so. But right now, I don't know."

"You'll try to forgive me eventually?"

"I'll try."

"That's all I could ever ask for."

Alec nodded and stood to go take a shower like he originally planned. When he got to his room, he found Magnus had beaten him to the shower. He decided to kill two birds with one stone. Knowing Magnus would be in the shower forever and there would be no hot water left, he decided to join his boyfriend. He quickly removed his clothing and walked into the bathroom. The room was steamy and Alec could smell his Dove's Men body wash that Magnus was using. The thought of Magnus using his soap was oddly sexy.

Alec pulled the shower curtain back and stepped in behind his boyfriend. Magnus turned around as he felt the rush of cool air on his back. When he saw Alec, he pecked him on the lips. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus. The warm spray tickled as it fell on his arms. He pressed Magnus into his body in order to feel more of the warmth.

"Hello, love. You've got to stop leaving me so soon after you wake up."

"Thank you."

"For what?" Magnus' eyebrow crinkled in confusion.

"For taking me away from here."

"Like I said: some sun would be good for you."

"Yeah. I think some sun would do me good."

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Magnus asked as they switched positions so that Alec was under the spray. Alec promptly began to wash himself. Magnus was nearly done, so he just enjoyed the show. He watched as Alec rubbed his toned thighs and calves. He worked his way up, making sure to clean his most prized body parts. He saved his hair for last, letting the water run down the back of his head and onto his back.

"I talked to mom," Alec said, breaking Magnus out of his reverie.

"Oh?'

"Yeah."

"And you forgave her? Just like that.?"

"I'm working on it.?"

"I'm glad," Magnus said, stepping into Alec's arms. He leaned down and kissed Alec tenderly.

"Let's get out of here," Alec suggested. He turned and shut off the water. He stepped out grabbing a towel to dry himself. He then threw the towel at Magnus so that he could do the same. They walked comfortably back into Magnus room and got into bed facing each other.

"I really do love you Alec. And I really do only want what's best for you."

"I know. I love you to Magnus. And I'm sorry I fell off the map for a little while." He kissed Magnus softly. "But I'm here now. With you. Naked and alone." Alec continued kissing Magnus. He worked his way down, suckling every few inches. When he reached Magnus' happy trail, he looked up. Magnus' emerald eyes were smoldering with lust and had taken a topaz-color instead of his original golden green. "And I want to make it up to you."

Alec took the tip of Magnus's cock into his mouth. He licked the slit and then progressed slowly until he had taken all of Magnus into his mouth. He hummed in order to send a tingling sensation through Magnus' body. Magnus moaned.

"God, Alec. I need…"

Alec came off of Magnus with a pop. "What is it, Magnus? Tell me what you need?"

"I need you so much closer."

"Show me." Alec whispered.

Magnus pulled Alec's shoulders so that he was level with himself. "Do you think you're up for another round?"

"I can keep up."

That was all the permission Magnus needed. He rolled on top of Alec and, without preparation, promptly slammed into Alec. Alec would have cried had it not been for Magnus' lips on his. "Shhh… We have to be quiet. Your family will hear."

Alec didn't care. He moaned, urging Magnus to move inside of him: quicker and faster and harder until Alec could no longer breathe correctly and was shaking. With every thrust inward Alec whispered Magnus's name. "Please…" he moaned. "So close…"

"I know, baby. Me, too."

They moved together with a mutual need and love for the other. Sooner or later they would become the other's world entire.

They whispered "I love you", as they grew closer to their end point together. "I love you," they said as they came. "I love you."

There was nothing holding them back from ever being together. If what Alec felt for Magnus wasn't love, this was the closest he'd ever get to feeling true love. And he was okay with that. And Magnus was, too, because deep down inside he knew. Alec was why he survived all those years of hardship. The boy who adapted grew up to love the boy who survived. And that is how they continued to live: adapting and surviving together.

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><p><strong>The End!<strong>

**Please Review, loves.**

**All the Best, **

**Cadence. **

**PS: Should I write a sequel? I have a few ideas.**


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